Blunder, a poem

So, something a bit different today. I really got into writing in college, first through essays like most people then through poetry. For the last several years I sort of let my writing fall by the wayside with starting an actual career and a family, Steemit has really helped motivate me to get back into it. I've mostly been focusing on my novel, but I wrote a lot of poems in that period and I'd like to get back into it.

This is one of those early poems, after a bit of a spit polish from me. It's like a little time capsule into my thinking at the time and it was really a weird experience going back to these. Let me know what you guys think! I will probably dive back into my old portfolio for one of these a week for a while.

Blunder

A nightmare, sure,
a pretty one.
A mistake we
should have made.

A pained attempt
to flatter the pity.

Take
it
back.

Take...

Take
it.

I wanted it,
after, I mean.
I think.
I thought a lot of things.

I've been building it up,
stacking carefully,
I thought.
Who wouldn't?

And I was right.

I'm still right.

So I win.

I'm not trying to say that,
if there was a girl…
not you.
If (not her)
she wasn't interested
(you know who I mean)
that I wasn't trying.

Or, wait, that I was...
I was, but,
well...
Man, it's embarrassing.
To think that there's
someone out there,
someone you exposed yourself to,
(sort of)
sort of, you know,
the baring your...
anyway,
and now...

Now it's all some mistake,
because you know the outcome,
but

I'd (I’ll)

never (always)

do it again.

So, yeah, it's like this grand disaster,
like a rock-slide,
maybe,
or a...
no, rock-slide.

Like a rock-slide,
and the mountain glitters gold.

Like you're fucking rich now, right?
But what's the point.
Your house is flattened, man.

Where the hell you gonna live.

If I thought for a second...

And she probably doesn't even remember me, y'know?
I mean, come ON.

I'd like to be important to someone.

And it's her fault.
I'm tired of blaming myself.
Even if it is my fault.

I’m tired.

I'm sick.

I’m tired.