Boys are Toxic

Boys are toxic
Don't you know?
The New York Times
Just told me so

I find that strange
Because, you see
A boy's a thing
I used to be

And if I had
To start again
Would I be male
Or feminine?

Shoot up a school
For that WOW factor
Or be a soyboy
Crisis actor?

Guns are cool
But acting's better
I'd cross state lines
A real jet-setter

Check on Craigslist
See who's hiring
I'd face the camera
While shots were firing

I'd nail my lines
In just one take
To stop my footage
From looking fake

But if I left
Some stupid tell
For "conspiritards"
To scream and yell

Well, that's okay
It's just "fake news"
We'll pull their vids
Reset those views

I'm unafraid
We'll face their wrath
I'm easily swayed
No sociopath

Boys are toxic
Don't you know?
The New York Times
Just told me so