[Poetry] - War of Confusion
I have an infection in my affection
It's a condition with no objection
Be fooled not - it's a ploy to coy
Never went a mile with a sly smile
Lil' lie drops, pile to a pool of guile
I'm binging thinking I'm healthy
Ever greedy yet I'm so needy
Sad to say, too depressed to impress
Funny enough, too focused I digressed
Whao! I'm impressed by the sequence
My goodness, I'm swayed by the eloquence
Trying so hard to hold my threshold
My impatience betrayed my stronghold
Photo Credit: pexels
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Hello, would you like some feedback?
@sarah2014blue I'm so sorry for the late reply.
I'll love to get a feedback.
Thank you 😊
My feedback is try and write without rhyme. What sometimes happens when we try to rhyme, is that we focus on rhyming and we forget the purpose of the poem, which is it to carry meaning.
Posted using Partiko iOS
I am so happy, finally, I get criticized constructively.
Thank you so much for the feedback, I'll surely give a thorough consideration to what you've suggested
You’re very welcome!
Posted using Partiko iOS