Failed Memory
For many years I kicked and screamed, whined and moaned, rebelled by acting out without restraint, and pointed my finger at every conceivable "other" (people, places, and things of all sorts) that I held responsible for my woes. I realize today that I had become what I was taught to become and that I was willing to live with the lie (belief) that I had no control over the path I was walking. I know now that my "teachers" were not good people or bad people, smart people or stupid people, morally corrupted people or righteous people, they were as I believe I had become, sleepwalkers, simply doing what sleepwalkers do, maintaining status quo. There is nothing easy about being a sleepwalker in the early stages of waking up. Anger, confusion, unbridled blame, self-loathing, and many other disruptive concepts and behaviors can become the default for all traversing the early stage of awakening. This can be a very rocky road where travelers break down, or crash and burn, or simply abandon the quest because there are "better" things to do.
For those who stick it out, one of the significant rewards of this journey, identifying specific achievements along the timeline of awakening, can be discovered in summary. To my knowledge there are no rules a reviewer must follow to summarize awakening, no format, no right, no wrong, no nothing. I do not even know of any requirement to summarize, I do however see the effort as a worthwhile one. That absence of structure takes a lot of pressure off, it also removes the obstacle known as excuses, a barrier to progress the vast majority of humans default to IMO. And then there is the concept of Karmic Debt but that circumstance will be a future subject. For the now I want to share a write from my earlier stage of awakening with the caveat that I did not understand at the time what was happening for me. For the record I want to say I am still in the process of waking up and I like it, but to this point, wherever this point is along my journey, there is nothing easy about the process. Best.
Failed Memory
When was the time
Was it in this life or one of the others
I do not know
That memory has slipped away
A time of freedom
From the bondage of your expectations
that memory has slipped away
When I was held up and declared
Your choice became my decision
How to live this life
Was innocence
Was ignorance
Misunderstanding
That brings me here today
I forgive the path you chose
I took
Now I see another way
To reclaim that precious memory
The one that slipped away
I call the sleeping ones the "straights". And there is a point you reach where it is not possible to go back to sleep. Sometimes you forget that most of the people around you are not even thinking of waking up, but because of religious beliefs think they are fully awake. So you talk to them about past lives and how we are all projections or manifestations of the one being and they look at you and walk away. They cannot confront it, but that's okay. They're not supposed to. They are a book that must be read just as you are a book that must be read. I enjoyed your write up and your poem and knowing there is a like minded person to chat with.
I view a sleepwalker as a sleepwalker, I do not know what else to think about it except to remember when I was sleepwalking. To be truthful I cannot ever remember feeling comfortable, I have always known there was a serious lack of balance. At the same time I was clueless to what was weighting me down so I just crashed through life until one day I was finally brought to my knees and began the journey to now. I do not have any problem with how long it took to begin to see there was something askew and I could choose to head in another direction, I like viewing the preparation stage from that perspective. Fatigue takes a toll and I am feeling fatigued regardless that a change in direction has been made. Could be I am just bothered by the direction our world is headed in general and am concerned with the correction that natural law is certain to direct. Natural law will always prevail, of that I have no doubt. In the meantime I will work to keep my ego in check, express my concern for all, and ring bells when I see need to wake up those on the fringe who would respond to a little noise. I feel responsible to do as much as I have the ability to do without imposing my values on anyone. Something along the lines of "call it by its real name." We are entering a Grand Solar Minimum lahvista, as if the threats posed by the many scoundrels in positions of power and authority do not give cause for concern enough, nature is throwing an unhittable curve also. Temperatures will drop for the next few years and geologic activity will increase dramatically. Prepare as best you can, this is not a drill. In this view we may not be like-minded, just saying what I am certain to be true. Sunflowers are very cool indeed. Best.
I believe global warming is occurring and that mankind is in deep doggie doo doo. I live in inland Texas so I won't be underwater, but it will be damn cold. There's nothing I can do about it, so I try not to spend a lot of energy worrying about it. My family is as prepared as we can be.
I like sleepwalker. Sounds kinder than straight. You may have changed my vocabulary. :) Most of my philosophy aligns with the Law of Attraction. Heard of it?
Law of Attraction as in like attracts like? If that is what you are saying, absolutely, I am all over that one. Back in the day, I was aware of the Law of Attraction but for some reason did not think it applied to me (I was special, laws that applied to everyone else did not apply to me). Arrogant snobs are like that you know. A more humbled self knows different today. Re global warming, we are completing an 11,000 year long warming period that has a cool down throughout the various solar cycles at specific points in time. Look up John L Casey, you might be surprised by his findings. If Casey is correct, we are headed into a real shocker as the next two or three 11 year cycles (cycles 25-26-27) result in a climate change that few are prepared for. So either way, warming or cooling, mankind (is that a sexist concept?) is royally screwed and us little people are getting lip service from Big Brother. I am a Walking Dead fan and liken a significant segment of the masses to walking dead. I hope I am mistaken in that view. Sleepers can wake up, dead cannot. I looked up your town and the house, interesting stuff earthbound spirits. Best.
My house affords me the opportunity to find a lot of waking souls. They are seeking answers to questions they can't even form yet. It's a wonderful way to ring a few bells. I enjoy Walking Dead. In the beginning it was too intense for me and I had to take a xanax to watch it. Now it has become another post apocalyptic adventure and I find myself not needing the xanax. Has the show toughened me up or has it lost it's punch? maybe a little of both. The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on, you will attract. So, if you focus on the bills, you will have more bills. If you instead focus on an abundance of money, you will have more money. (simplified version) I doubt I'll be around for the big cool down. I'm 65 and have no desire to be a centenarian especially if that future entails what you anticipate. I don't consider the word mankind racist, but I don't have a huge problem with racism in general. I'm not ready for the cultures/races to melt into one. I like the fact that certain races are better at certain things, like art, math, science, music etc. I'm a little old fashioned. I still like the idea that women are better nurturers and men are better protectors. John L Casey sounds familiar. I'll have to revisit him.
Great talking with you.
I have a little experience with xanax and a few other benzos, left that life behind a while back. I thought I said "sexist" not racist but maybe they fit the same mold anyway. I am 66 and expect to be around for it, its beginning right now anyway. Dead caused me to jump more than once, still do from time-to-time. I decided to pass on it this season and buy the DVD's to watch it in a couple sittings without the distraction of TV ads and time. Wells are a good thing as long as the frackers do not trash them, I am not a fracking type, we have gone too far and the whole system is a lie anyway IMO. I have never been in a house like yours, might consider giving it a try one day. Relax, enjoy, and prepare, that's what I say. best.
I think you did say sexist. my mind took off in a different direction. It does that a lot. Either way.... the word is not sexist to me. I've lived many lives as a man. I was even a monk once. :) didn't end well. See how my mind strays? lol I love being a woman, though I haven't always. Sexism is a thing and it can be a very hurtful thing. I'm still happy to be a woman.
My house is very cool. I think you would enjoy it. It responds well to the Law of Attraction.
https://steemit.com/youtube/@lahvista/intro-to-hill-house-manor
I do not expect to attract many pleasantries, I see almost no good coming and have little or no trust in leadership of any nation I can think of. I view the vast majority of those in control of economic, political, and social aspects of our world as scoundrels (liars, cheats, & thieves). Then there are the corporate marauders, we are in serious trouble IMO. I have never had any concept of past lives, think nothing of being able to identify specifics. I'm not sure what that is about, I care about my inability to make any progress in this regard. Oh well, I might be in a need to know status and for whatever reason, do not need to know. I'll just carry on. Best.