Suspicious
Ignoring all my calls
Your love is so suspicious
It seems all I do is fall
.
You're never there to catch me
you just watch me pass
why are you still pretending?
you never loved me back
.
You pull me down to lift me up
Nothing is fair in love and war
Like now I see it's clear as fuck
which one of us would love who more
.
I think about you constantly
You're everything that haunts my dreams
but all the things you wish I was
are all the things I'll never be
.
It's like this is all a game to you,
like all you've got is shit to prove
I'm trapped inside the web you drew
I can't believe I fell for you
.
I climbed out of my rabbit hole
and jumped through hoops to get to you
but all you see in all I do
are all the things that bother you
.
And I can't love a boy who lies
and swears to God that he loves me
when he just wants to get ahead
and I just want to lay in bed
.
So where's the loss in giving up
on something that was never real?
if this is love, than fuck all this
It's nothing that I wanna feel!
IMAGE SOURCE: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/384565255658673657/
very good!
Thank you!((:
I love it! Your page is awesome, you have a follow from me
Ayye thank you!:D followed back (:
So relatable really how I feel about my ex. He made me think he was in love with me but would always ignore me and say he just needed space when the week before he told me never to feel like he didn't wanna talk to me. Then he gets with a girl and says it's ok because I let a guy kiss me when I was crazy drunk and heartbroken one night. I knew he was awful for me but I lied telling him I loved him and ended up believing it myself but it was never love.
That's exactly what I do. Lol I lie and say I love you and I do it so well I start believing it. The ones who make us feel like we're not enough are the ones we yearn for naturally and its bullshit. They say ignorance is bliss but when youre finally out of the "bliss" and see everything for what it is you wanna puke at how stupid you were for turning the other cheek all the time.
It sucks how much it hurts to trust.
Oh yes... I know this feeling :-/ I once dated a lady who would basically say anything and everything she thought was required to avoid an issue, even if it meant lying. Admittedly she did it mostly to avoid potential conflict, but still it was frustrating.
For example she would tell me something that would turn out to be false, and when I questioned her about it she would say "I was afraid you would be disappointed if I told you the truth!" Yes, because finding out the truth the hard way was so much easier right? LOL. I never once gave her a reason to think I would be mad at her for telling the truth, but numerous times I pleaded for her to be honest with me... But still the untruths were flowing and so I had to walk away. I just couldn't trust her and life is hard enough without the anxiety of second guessing everything someone tells you every 2 minutes...
Lying is the fuckin worst but for some reason I feel for that girl. I'll bet she was in an abusive relationship, whether it be physical or emotional, and it made her so afraid of confrontation she did everything she could to avoid it. It's learned behavior. Like apologizing for stupid things a billion times, I'm guilty of that due to my past relationships and it drives my current boyfriend mad because he'd never hurt me especially not in the way they did. Sometimes I still flinch at fast movements because of it and it breaks his heart because he's never laid a hand on me. 5 years and I'm still like this.
You're so right though, finding out the truth from anyone other than her would be awful, give someone the benefit of the doubt and just assume theyre being honest because they have no reason to lie but in their minds they have EVERY reason to lie /:
This particular poem was written about a piece of shit I fell for, mostly because he was an artist, but he was complete shit. We were like a power couple. I was a stripper, he was a drug dealer, had us spending most of our time in a dopehouse. He moved in with me and only ended up at home maybe 3 nights a week. I thought I was his girlfriend but I'm fairly certain now I was his side chick. He made up some crazy elaborate plan, told me I had to get rid of my pets in order to stay with him when we moved out of the other house. So I did, they were still babies and I was a mess anyway they were better off.... But then he told me the cops were watching us, made me flush $600 of the best coke I ever had down the toilet and leave immediately, never texted me again really, didn't even break up with me I still went out and bought him christmas presents engraved and all. Looking at his exes facebook, I realized they had gotten back together the day before he pushed me out the door. He was never honest with me, he'd say he was on his way home and leave me waiting up all night, I'd fall asleep with the lights still on just waiting for him. He told me later he did that so I wouldnt invite anyone else over -_- They're engaged now but he still hits me up often, I think some people just never change. Maybe cheating and lying is a form of addiction, it sure seems that way.
I do think some people suffer from that addiction. They lie to get in, then just keep lying to keep people on side, right up until they cannot see any further gain and so lie their way out. It gets them what they want and so they keep doing it.
Some very good imagery there hoping this was about an ex and not the one you were so happy with.
Haha yes thankfully it's about an ex. Alot of my pieces are. It's really hard for me to write about anything that makes me happy for some reason LOL
p.s just read that it is not about our boyfriend now I am glad.
sad is easier to express for me too ...