Lonely, Not Alone {A Poetry By Aduragbemi}

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This feeling I get reminds me of my present predicaments.
The lies I had lived, depressed feelings I tried so had to keep
Anxiety always manage to rear it head despite so much friends,
I die again and again every minute, my eyes are teary and misty.

I'm confused as to which word is really befitting,
I searched within but nothing ventures to the surface.
It seems impossible reaching out to reservations from within,
Social medias seems indifferent because happiness is not a place.

Neither the people i surround myself with, but a decision
This isn't just a clarion call nor an awareness, tis' a poetry uncaged
Words are weapons, it cuts through the soul like a sword
Wielded by worthy hands exact to do the needed damage

Negative vibes emanating from a disgruntled reality,
I had believed every words said to me, they keep my company.
Though friends are just too many to count, am always lonely
You see, loneliness is a decision that twist feelings.

My resolve cry abandoned, am neither capable of making the right choices
Nor strong enough to forge ahead beyond compromises,
They say am worthless, useless and a waste
Words like this overwhelm me each passing day.

All I have is a dying conscience but my consciousness finally comes into play.
I am lonely but not alone, so I reached out, cried out for help
Depression and anxiety are real not a game,
Reaching out isn't weakness but a declaration of strength.

I realised people will talk regardless 'cos that's all they do,
And letting it influence my thought and perception is on me.
Loneliness only exterminate all that's good,
So i took a decision. Happiness doesn't cost a penny, it comes totally free.

Written & Compiled
By
Erinkitola A. Aduragbemi
1st February, 2019.