CHAPTER 2. First Night.

"A luck of sustained love does not mean the absence of care, affection or pleasure"

                                    Bell hooks.

I had to wait,
Just like it is to most of the people,
It wasn’t hard to me,
I waited not for so long,
I knew the day was coming when my tongue will feel her taste,
That burning desire inside me became a balance force,
The force that kept me going,
Through long nights of proper affection,
Nights that gave birth to love perfection,
Yes, that is exactly what I mean,
My waiting moment too was never silent,
But full of astonishing memories,
Memories that I am willing to cherish,
For the remaining days of my esteemed adventure,
Just like in most of the IT classes I understood her vibes,
I could feel something inside her,
It is hard to put that feeling in words,
But I am going to try,
Because I know,
I know it was something pushing her out of cage,
That acted as a boundary between us,
Cage of truth and openness,
Cage of honest and transparency,
I sincere love that cage,
I do, thought it kept me waiting for her,
There was nothing I could do rather than being gentle,
I knew that was a way,
The only way to pull her out of cage,
All she could say was please give me sometimes,
How can I know that I can trust a stranger?
How can I know I can trust you?
We have just met,
I didn’t know I could make it,
I didn’t know she could let me be,
So I hard to buy time,
Knowing that she can hear me,
I knew she was able to hear,
And that right-moment was somewhere around the corner,
That is why I kept singing in silence,
Keep repeating the same song,
I dint know it was the song she like,
I was just singing because she was listening,
At time I didn’t know her favorite drink,
I dint know she likes Japanese food,
I dint know she is very opinionated,
Just kept assuming,
While hoping for one day yes,
Hoping deep down that it will one day be okay,
Guess what! It was never okay,
She couldn’t let me doing without asking,
She was always insisting,
Insist that I should ask anything,
I didn’t know what anything supposed to mean,
I was sure that she real mean anything,
As a value at the core of humanity,
In a way that alignment symbolize of compatibility,
Asking is a consistent factor beyond reality,
I had to learn this before my first night,
My performance wasn’t good,
So I keep studying same shit after my first night,
She couldn’t stop until I was qualified,
Though I thought I was qualified,
My first night wasn’t easy
It wasn’t an anticipation,
It wasn’t a description,
It was neither expression nor imagination,
She didn’t tell me in advance,
She didn’t say a single word,
She didn’t even say that today is the day,
She just did what has to be done,
In a fraction of second,
It was her sweet voice against my better judgement,
Her tempting smile against my inner hardness,
She soften me from inside-out,
I can still recall the sound of Usher & Yuna,
Singing in low voice from my black HP-laptop,
“I think I have little crush on you”,
“I hope it is not too much”,
When she was rubbing my cheek with her tongue,
Pulling me so close,
With both her hand on my chest,
Looking me straight into the eyes,
While maintain that back and forth movement,
The only voice I heard was a slow pop music,
And the voice of some inter-current sound,
That was quite minimum,
To an extent that you can estimate the speed of sound,
The sound produced by movement of my laps,
But I couldn’t,
Because that sweet feeling I had was certainly magical,
With a natural cosmic power that can move mountains,
And break down world unshakable bonds,
I thought I was violating her status quo,
I thought I was compelling her inner desire,
But I was wrong,
She wanted to do it,
She wanted so badly,
It wasn’t violation of her inner principles,
But an inner-connection that was absolute true,
Waiting for food while you are starving has never been easy,
It is the moment when kids show how they can be cruel,
But the inbuilt bonds of honest,
The fundamental rule of respect,
Kept me away from that burning desire,
Till when my call was due,
She stood at the center of my feelings,
The moment I began to spin,
She pulled us back to the line,
Even when the fault was mine,
I have never write my feelings down,
Though I have patience in writing,
Trust me,
Some walls are worth to be guided,
Some people are worth to be adored,
Some moment are worth to be remembered,
But some nights, are worth to be cherished.