Clumsy Ali Baba and Thieves
[Текст на српском] On Wednesday, May 29th 2019, the Center for Culture of Smederevo staged a play by Tode Nikoletić, “Clumsy Ali Baba and Thieves”, in the performance of the students of the acting studio led by Nevena Rakocević. You must remember them. They performed “Romeo and Juliet” exactly a year ago…
* * * Act One * * *
This time, our story begins on the seashore, where a group of fishermen tries to catch a fish…
Unfortunately, it's getting harder and harder. Fish is no longer naive…
…and these plastic baits are not tempting any more, because there is so much plastic in the sea that the fish can not eat it all!
But they have wives to feed, which is not easy at all! They have a lot of wives! And they all insist to eat!
So, what are we going to do? After the brief consulting, it was unanimously decided: we are going to be thieves!
The leader will be (un)lucky man with the most wives — Ali Baba has 98 of them, he has a sharp umbrell… I meant a sword, and he’s charming almost like Jack Ma…
Ali Baba and his bandits, for accommodating the stolen goods and kidnapped slaves, found a rather spacious, dry and comfortable cave that opens on the command, only… no one can memorize that command!
Open Susame… Open Sarsaparilla… Open Saskatchewan… Is there anyone here that can memorize two words?!
’Sorry Boss, we were skipping those lessons at school…
Luckily, one of 98 women was inside with the key!
— Where did you get the key?
— Well, there is one magical coffee pot left in there by some Aladdin, and there is a genie in it that fulfills wishes.
— So he fulfilled your wish and opened the cave?
— Of course not, you stupid. He pulled the key out of his pocket!
Let's wash our hands now, while our wives sing and dance for us, and then they will bring us food.
Right, and now let’s indulge in some devouring…
— Hey, what is this, wives?
— That’s what you brought for a meal!
It’s a bottom!
It's well-done, but not very tasty! Woman, where is this genie that fulfills the wishes?!
Just a moment to get him out of Aladdin’s magical coffee pot, he got a little bit fat…
A little bit? Look at him. He must have ate everything we’ve been plundering with so much effort!
Yo Smokey, can you produce something to eat?
Of course, at your service, my lord! Bibbity Bobbity Boo…
…and Bobbity Bibbity Boo!
And so, the thieves almost croaked by food poisoning from the magic kitchen. Let them be, they will appreciate their wives more…
* * * Act Two * * *
While the thieves are on a well-deserved rest after a hard day, the after hours are used only by genies to repair Internet connections…
…and who else?
— Who are you?
— Prince Charming in search of a kidnapped Princess!
Well, this new day is all reserved for Alibaba’s wedding with a kidnapped Princess!
It will be his jubilar 99th wife (maybe this one will know how to cook that nothing the thieves always bring for food!)
I won’t marry Alibaba, he is so uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgly!
Who asks you that! As we are at asking, can you make a pie?
No, but I can dance.
Oh, my luck… Women, prepare her for wedding!
And so, while the preparations going on… The thieves brought the treasure plundered for the boss…
…and, of course, again they can’t memorize magic words.
I’m sick of you and this stupid cave! Sesame, open or I’m gonna break your every bone!
Mighty, convincing words! The cave opened wide!
Woman, get all the wives to make a wedding feast!
If one will not cook, I will retrain her into the guard of magic words for opening the cave!
And bring that gunny genie to create some wedding gifts!
Oh, you are already here. Let me see a flying carpet…
There it has flown!
— Listen Smokey, this is your last chance to do something decent. I’m sick of their pigwash, I want to sweeten my soul with a watermelon! Right now!
— Yes, Master! Bibbity Bobbity Boo, Bobbity Bibbity Boo…
…here’s a watermelon!
— Not even close! Listen, if I do not have a watermelon in my hand this moment, you go into a bottle, and the bottle goes into the ocean…
— That was a close call! Let’s bring this wedding to an end. Woman, a kiss!
— I will not!
Kiss, or I’m gonna break your every bone!
It’s a real miracle how these magical words works well!
— Who are you?
— Prince Charming in search of a kidnapped Princess!
You mean this one here? Really sorry, we're already married!
So, you want fight? You will have it!
That was fierce, but it ended somehow with a draw. The Prince and the Thieve were forced to use with loathing… a DIPLOMACY! Let the Princess decide!
And to the general surprise, the Princess leaves both rivals and chooses — a thief equipped with the longest hose!
* * * The End * * *
Farewell on the scene and a bow to the disloyal audience who have stopped applauding at least twice by five seconds each time, during the show!
Nevena Rakočević, teacher and director of the show on the scene…
…and a few final frames:
Actors: Nevena Savković, Marta Trajković, Dunja Đorđević, Anđela Čikarić, Anđela Vasić, Ana Pavlović, Mina Dinić, Pavle Grujić, Petra Cvetković, Vida Dinić, Eva Milošević, Vuk Jagodić, Vuk Petrović, Lav Rakočević, Dimitrije Beljić, Vanja Đuričić, Lazar Glavaš, Ivan Bajčić
See you next year!
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Ko je pljačkaš i ubica? Ko sve redom lema, taba? Ko je vođa propalica? ALI BABA! ALI BABA! :D