You know how you can go quietly for months and then suddenly everything happens all at once?

That's me right now- but not in a negative way. I am full to the brim with creatively fulfilling projects and work.

I am studying at Second City in their Conservatory Program, making my film #Barbara-Anne, booking TV/Film work, a new theatre contract on the horizon (I'll announce very soon to all of you...it's a BIG one!) my teaching practice is in balance and thriving (these shots are from a teachers photo shoot at Misfit Studio where I teach pilates/movement in Toronto) I'm doing a 30 day challenge at said studio that is leaving me feeling so grounded and meanwhile spontaneous projects where my passions align continue to reveal themselves like a commercial I coached acrobatics on today!

Abundance.

I am feeling particularly reflective in the moments in between all of this action. I'm finding stillness, quiet....peace.

Until now, the past 6 months have been quieter in terms of work and some really interesting things came up that I'd love to share.

Here's what I learnt when I wasn't just busy or in motion, but in stillness and sometimes in fear of being stagnant...

1. I have grown up a lot the past two years

I used to feel through my training I knew how to "get grounded" but now it's a state of being I just feel rather than a thing I have to do. I love that I vibrate high and bubbly as a person but it feel rooted in a way I didn't before.

2. Just because I'm not working doesn't mean I'm not worthy

I used to define myself by how much I worked. It is an unsustainable and unhealthy way to live a full and beautiful life I believe. There is so much more than work- no matter how much you love it.

3. I don't need to tell everyone everything

There is a feeling on social media as an artist to constantly say what you're working on. And I've really dropped that. Having Steem as an outlet to share in a way that feels authentic has helped but also I don't feel the need to tell everyone everything to validate myself or mask any fear/insecurities. I am in fact finding power and creativity in mystery and observation.

4. Creativity needs patience

I was working with someone recently and talking about writing and the feeling of needing to MAKE IT HAPPEN. And she said something along the lines of...

Would you yell at a baby for not being able to walk yet when it just began to crawl? When you scold yourself and your creativity like that you are scaring your inner child...

This really stuck with me because I am reminded that I need to let my creativity be in the infant stages and enjoy the discoveries without being too hard on it. It needs the time to develop and grow and it will mature but I can't rush that.

5. The in between jobs is hard for me

At first a job ends and I feel so deserving of a vacation but then I start to get restless. I am acknowledging that in my down time I can really only enjoy it when I know what's next. I want to work on this because I want to truly practice being present because when I am present and in the moment that's when I find whatever is meant to happen next. I used to say "oh I love in between jobs" but I think I said it to mask the restlessness I actually felt and to not be another angsty artist. But when I finally was able to relax into the unknown what happened.... A LOT!

It's a journey.

These photos are by Jessica Blaine for a photos shoot by Misfit Studio

xo
K