Perhaps, if we're all connected then our helping ourselves will help the other?
So, the real question probably does come back to whether or not we're making the "right," decision and that becomes difficult if we think a lot because we're able to recognize that there are many layers including the lenses of socialization.
Sometimes we make a decision that feels right and later decide that it's not and then can even go back to the original! At least I've done that. In my latest research I am coming to understand there is some middle ground, the gray area that stitches world and heaven together and it seems a place one can only be in when there is less naming of right and wrong, and just a quiet accepting of all, so that the asking and fretting over what to do is the first step of being in that slip--the divide which is also the place of joining, now, we just learn to swim in it ;)