Are You The Judge?

in photography •  last year 

don't-judge.jpg

I went outside to take this picture, and I even walked around the block without a bra on, just like this. It’s liberating, but it’s also uncomfortable to feel people, all of them, men and women, staring at me. They’re not just gawking because of the sexual appeal that female nipples have. They’re also judging me. Who does she think she is walking around without a bra on, her nipples exposed? Is she some kind of slut?

There are a couple things that really bother me about this. One of them is the obvious thing, that people have been trained to think this way, and how unfortunate it is that female nipples have been made to be highly sexual by society and thus not appropriate to have out (whereas a man walking around with his shirt off entirely and his nipples exposed is 100% acceptable and not considered sexual at all).

The other thing that bothers me is another level of what I find wrong with society: that people find women expressing their sexuality as negative, as ugly, as incorrect. I’m not saying that walking with your nipples out as a women is a sexual expression, but if it were, so what? Is there anything actually wrong with a woman being sexually liberated, free to express her openness to sex in public? Why does such a derogatory word like “slut” have to be used for a woman who enjoys sex? What’s the word for a man who enjoys sex? Just a man, that’s all.

The only true problem with walking with your nipples showing as a woman is that it is dangerous, and could easily get you harassed, or worse, raped, because of the way society has positioned this action through all of modern history. Unfortunately, we haven't surpassed this yet, and the fact that wearing anything never means you're "asking for it," doesn't stop certain people from feeling that those women are indeed "asking for it."

=This hypocritical and unjust treatment of women and their nipples has got to stop. How can we change society? How can we normalize female nipples? Women and men alike, all feminists need to act together to make these changes. What will you do to fight the patriarchy and make things right?

What will I do? Walking around the block in a shirt that shows my nipples in Mexico City is one thing. Going on the metro? Going out on the town? I don't know. It seems so risky. But I guess if I am going to stand this ground, I will have to do it eventually. When I do, I will let you know how it goes. Until then, hopefully the power of the art I make and writing I do can do something.

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Yes!! I just posted about this bra issue earlier last week as well. I never wear a bra any longer. For me, there is no reason to wear one besides fear and hiding, and I no longer wish to live that way.

Here is my take though...in an effort to liberate ourself from this hiding way of life folks often advocate normalizing female nipples. Like, desexualizing them so then we can walk around without shame or fear. But the thing is - they are beautiful. They cause a biological arousal response for many lookers, both men and women. They are supposed to. That’s how we evolved. We can’t just moralize, legislate, or shame that it out of people. So for me, in my humble opinion 🙂, the solution is embracing our sexual natures as humans. We are sexual creatures, and while presently that makes many people uncomfortable it’s true, and being a sexual creature is not wrong or bad.

Okay, sorry...didn’t mean to preach on your blog and I’m certainly not preaching at you. You walked the street with no bra and advocated no judgement!! Yay! You’re my girl. We are the girls of change. ✊🏽

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Sorry for the delay in response! I totally agree with you, and sort of thought of it that way before, but it is hard to find a way to express that. I guess thinking about it that way just makes me realize that people act with such disrespect, especially to women, with regard to their public "expression of sexuality" (even if we're not wearing a bra for reasons of comfort and not to be viewed as a piece of meat) that that is a primary concern. If a guy feels sexually aroused by seeing nipples, he is an evolved human being with a complex brain, not an animal in the woods, and so he can act with self control by not necessarily expressing his sexual arousal to the woman in question. Society should put more pressure on people to care about women's sense of comfort and safety in public (of course).

Anyway, I'm glad we're in this together <3 <3

You could try walking around with just a bra on like that episode of Seinfeld.

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HAHAHA, I do that too sometimes...

Wow, that's powerful.
But Mexico City? Is that where you are? Or are you just using that as an example?

Actually I'm all in agreement with you. Breasts shouldn't make the prudes and grannies get all hyped and blood-pressured up. They're showing their ignorance. They are the true primitives of the 21st century.

But, I do confess, a woman's breasts can be a thing of beauty. I'd hate to see them hidden away from the world.

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Joe
@joe.nobel
science fiction, fantasy, erotica

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I am in Mexico City, where I now call home. Also, LOVE that Carly Simon pic.

Oh, btw, here is Carly Simon from 1972. Nice nipples, too.

Go for it!
Pretty common in Australia these days.

This is actually a very interesting topic. Is the damage already irreparably done? Is there a way to desensitize everyone's mindset towards women's breasts and nipples? Not too long ago it was shameful and I think illegal in America for women to wear any kind of revealing clothing at the beach. Now you see women/girls wearing what appears to be a piece of dental floss as a bathing suit. Is that progress?

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It is progress! What's the problem with wearing what you want. Many places in Europe, you'll see topless beaches, and that's normal. To me, that is the way it should be.

The double standards are insidious and incessant. The most infuriating thing is that people don't even recognise them when they see them. It's just 'the way it is', as Hornsby sang, back in the 80s, and still we're dealing with it - sadly things change so slowly we barely notice. All you can do is point it out to people when you see it and be that advocate for change, as you're doing here. More power to you!

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Ufff, insidious and incessant are great word choices here. Just going to keep fighting.

Saw this to late, but since it is an issue for me as a (male) artist, I would like to add a word or two.. or more ;-)

Where I live (in Germany) its no big deal at all, for a woman to show her nipples. They go swimming topless and wearing nothing under a T-shirt for instance is so common, that one hardly pays attention to it. I always had to laugh, when friends from the US were watching commercials here all the time, for a chance to see the forbidden fruit...

A good part of my art displays (female) nudity and so I've had big problems getting banned on fb for showing my work. A lot of my colleagues too... ok, we found one solution and I think it shows part of the absurdity of it all.

Not saying, I don't find a girls nipples exciting... but like @steemed-open already said so well, that's the nature of our being. Why should women walk around under a tent because of that? IMHO in a civilized society, its the responsibility of the men to keep their hormones under control...