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RE: Minds are like flowers; they open only when the time is right
I coached a high school debate team for years. Every year I ask new debaters what skill is most important for debate. They generally respond with the ability to speak intelligently or confidence. They are surprised when I tell them it is listening. I then explain that in ordered to effectively debate you need to know what the other person said, so you can respond and explain why their position is the better choice.
Like the flowers opening they get it when the time is right, for most of them it often after a few debates.
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I was ina debate team for a couple of years in school, looking back now I was probably better at it because i was a good listener, which I had not thought about til your comment just now, I have always been a better listener or more of a listener than a talker