ENTRY #3: "I'M A HUMAN TOO. I FEEL TIRED. I FEEL SAD. I FEEL EVERYTHING"

in #philppines6 years ago (edited)

How-to-Increase-Self-Control.jpg

I will discuss things about my today- actually this is a day before my birthday...

It translated into: Tagalog & English

All of us might talk to ourselves and says;
"I can do this/that?"
"I can make this/that?" Or else goes like this situation.
"I am tired."
"Can I complain?"
"Can I rest?" and maybe "Can I stopped being me?"

All of this was expectedly come on me. And I actually say-- I AM BURNOUT OF MANY THINGS OR EVERYTHING.
Everyone seeing you as perfect person literally, then suddenly you unexpectedly done wrong and it becomes a big deal on them and judge you because of that.
I am sharing this with you my steemit friends on how to deal on these things happening on me and maybe soon on you & your friends...

Let's go back to the topic, I am literally tired and sick but no one knows. I'm showing a good facial expression, but I'm not a best liar.
Looking back those times that even though I complained or get angry still no one cares. Walang pakialaman kumbaga; mas pipiliin pa nila ang sariling kagustuhan kesa magparaya nalang. 
We lived in this world full of judgments and hatreds. As of now I think that’s the reason why some people especially teenagers’ committed suicide. These is because of the depression they’re experiencing and no one knows; it feel so sad that some of them ended their lives cause of not so big deal problems (it’s my opinion only) but for them—it’s a big deal. Maybe there parents don’t mind or observed the actions/attitude towards their children because they also busy with their works.
This was I felt on my parents, even them don’t encourage me to prove others I can do this/that. They put me down all of these years, and keep on repeating my weakness; because of my disability. I never forget it anyway; instead I put myself into the corner and cried. I try harder to be good as they wanted me to be… as of now, I am the one handling the family business but still I felt I’ am out of place. My co-workers rated me like a monster and have an attitude problem considering they gave the reason to be a monster. I feel so alone. Para akong nag-iisa sa laban, walang kakampi dahil pinagtutulungan nila ako. But I promise to myself; I can do it and prove to all even though I am alone but still I can stand by my owned.
Now I experience how to be independent; and I can say it’s really hard. You want to quit, you want to ended things for today; somehow you did it for the next day. Your everyday routine will be the same as long as you can do it and you’re alive. I am thankful of God, for being with me when I felt alone, for listening all my dramas, for keeping me calm when I’m in hurry and for keeping me safe and healthy along the way of my journey. Yes, we’re sinners but our Lord was still at our side when we needed him. I say thank you and sorry for whatever mistakes I made for that day; and returned the favor give to him all your worries, pains and your dramas his ready to listened and for you to feel more better.
I’m encouraging everybody who will read this and someone was needed help and listener I am willing to listened all your worries and concern. By the way I’m not an expert or a doctor; but I am a friend. Comment or message me personally for more talks you wanted to share.

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