Are you a success? How do you know?
Once a month for work I must take a train to the company so, here I sit. I use the time the best I can to either listen to a podcast or more commonly, do as I am now and write for Steemit. It isn't actually just for Steemit of course, it is also for me and, for you.
What I have found through my writing is that it gives me a chance to slow down and think a little about life, my life, your lives and how they all intertwine. It gives me the opportunity to review my actions in the past, consider what I am doing now and make some plans for the future. It gives me a chance to sort through many of my issues.
A large part of my blog is dedicated to investigating and developing more useful ways to approach this life of ours as no matter whether we have, 20 or 120 years here, time is scarce. What helps me best utilise my own time on this planet, is helping others utilise theirs.
What I have noticed recently is something that I have come across many times before in my life, something that has held me back in many ways, I am scared to do well. I fear being singled out of the crowd for good performance. Interestingly, my fear of failure is less than my fear of success. As you can imagine, this sets up for some self-defeating processes in life. Does anyone else experience this?
I find through observation that for many, the more successful they get, the larger their ego becomes and the less they consider those around them. For me, I have somewhat of an opposite process where the more success, the more deflated my ego, self-critical of my work and the way I view others shift to think more of them. Perhaps this is because I am embarrassed or, perhaps this is because I have a general process that I do not take value unless I feel myself deserving of it.
It is interesting at Steemit is it not? Who is deserving? Is it the ones that bring the most money, generate the highest revenue, onboard the most people, advertise, offer good information, make people laugh, help them make more money, improve their lives? All of the above?
My approach to this life is relatively simple when it comes to competition: outwork everyone else. The reason I do it this way is for two-fold, I get to push myself to the limits and see what I am able to honestly do and secondly, everyone has the same opportunity to do the same. Yes, skills, starting positions, opportunity and luck vary but, everyone has the possibility to do their best. Me doing my best doesn't stop anyone else from doing theirs. And, it even gives me the chance to help them be better, there is no need for me to push them down.
My best at Steemit is not rated by the payout as even though I do relatively well, I am unlikely to be in the 300-1000 dollar post categories anytime soon, if ever. It is not even rated by the interaction under the post that is so valuable as even though it is you the reader I post for, to put too much weight on the audience means to change for the audience and that is a slippery slope, albeit, largely a lucrative one.
The evaluation of my content has to come from me as it is only I who can really know if what I put forward, is my best in that moment. It is hit and miss at times when viewed in the rearview mirror of hindsight but, I am largely happy with the content I produce and the unsatisfactory teaches me a lot. But, it does very little to get over my fear to succeed at what I do.
I think that this is why my approach is what it is in the content I write and as much as I dislike the idea of being one of the sheep, I do like to have people around me. Safety in numbers. But, that group need not be the average, it need not be those that think like me, act like me, believe the same thing as me, it can be completely diverse.
So I have realised that my approach to the fear of success is to be successful with as many people as possible, to support those that are looking to honestly and really improve themselves and help others to do the same as the larger the successful group, the more I blend in.
There are some highly talented people here at Steemit wasting their opportunity trying to optimise their effort/return ratios. Business is largely run on the same philosophy, offer as little as possible for the highest gain and it is a a soulless business indeed that reduces innovation and the benefits for the many. In business, it is not about being the best, it is about being better than others. In my opinion, unhealthy competition.
When people apply a return optimisation philosophy to their own interactions, it is unlikely to lead to where they want to be. I will only help when I get something in return, I will only give if I get, I will only love you, if you love me back equally, if not more. If you follow this path in human interaction, it leads to a purely transactional experience where nothing is done without return.
But, society and humanity is not a straight-line operation, it spirals and twists and one event here, has implications there. The transactions between are unforseen and largely unwitnessed by the catalysing move. To not give without getting is to stop the spiralling, stop the ripples, limit possibility. You may not agree, that is okay.
My success doesn't depend on agreement and is not broken by disagreement, it is personal to me. As is yours to you. Do not worry about the time spent for 'nothing', do not concern yourself with the successes of others. Do your best.
As to live a life of personal bests - what can be more successful than that? What is there to fear? What I love about my own opportunity at Steemit is that it has given me the chance to be better, offer more and help and support those who want to do the same.
[ a Steemit original ]