All the reasons why

I'm sitting in a dinner with a good friend, we just ordered some food and of course began to catch up. He's telling me about his current gigs and such, and as I'm staring at his aging face thinking of how time forgives no one, he starts to tell me a story about his mother.

You see, my friend lost his dad when he was still very young, and his mom had been his rock growing up. I remember how he used to talk about her, and of course I remember her as well. It's not that I had many interactions with her per say, but in a way through my friend, I felt I knew her enough to confirm her kind nature.

A few years ago cancer took her away, and my friend, now strong and completely at peace with the fact, decided to share with me the emotional yet funny story that happened, one week before his mother drew her last breath.

I guess I'm sharing the story on this blog, without names of course, because I think this anecdote packs a powerful punch, and fully suspect there will be one or two people who will enjoy it as much as I did.

My friend's mother had a very aggressive cancer that had started somewhere in the throat, and slowly but surely metastasized into an inoperable tumor. These times I'm sure were very difficult for my friend and of course his mother, having to deal with not only the pain, which I'm sure was excruciating but later on the difficulty of eating, and mouth injuries from the medical paraphernalia that they had to use.

A point came where the Doctors told my friend the only way to keep her from passing on, was to do a tracheotomy. For those who don't know what it is, it's probably enough to say that it's basically a procedure that bypasses the mouth, and leaves the trachea exposed through a tube that pokes out right on top of where your collar bones meet on your chest.

Having some experience with grandpa, the picture was being painted very clearly in my head as my friend continued his narration. Now, the important thing here however, was that the Doctor had warned my friend of the difficulty of the operation, since there was a big chance that the tumor had taken residence in a place where it would make it impossible for the tubing to be placed. After a short discussion with his mother they decided to give it a go, and try to alleviate her difficult situation, if only for a little while longer.

The surgery was scheduled, and after having three days of no sleep, my friend found himself at 6 am outside the hospital hours before the scheduled procedure waiting for the Doctor to arrive. The time came, mom was taken into the operation room and the endless three hours began to tick.

My friend describes the time, and I'm sure he's not exaggerating as the longest hours of his life. Surrounded by family and friends, he patiently waited for someone to call him in the intercom.

Finally his name was called, he went up a few floors, and the Doctor came out to greet him. He tells me the face of the Doctor was not one that spelled success, and this of course gave him a lot of anxiety. Who could blame him after all?

The Doctor began with the typical disclaimers, speaking slowly and explaining that the surgery had not been a success. The Doctor had to cancel the procedure, as the tumor had taken over everything and the risk of losing her was too great.

At this point my friend began to cry, to break down as any man facing the death of his mother would. And in a broken voice asked, if he could see her, if she was going to make it. The Doctor said, yes, to give them some time to prepare her and he would be called upon again.

My friend describes this moment as magical, because up until these words came out of the Doctor's mouth, he had pretty much given up on the possibility of seeing his mother alive again. He could barely speak without crying when the doctor asked him a funny question.

Try to picture the following:

Doctor: Are you the drummer for (Band name)
My friend, crying: Yes, yes I am... how would you know this?

The Doctor continued: About 20 years ago I had two dreams, one was to be the singer for your band, and the other one was to be a Doctor. I tried out for your band, I went to an audition and you personally told me that I did not make the cut....

My friend, now balling his eyes out said: OH GOD Doctor, forgive me!!!! I will kick our singer out tomorrow, you can front the band this weekend if you want...

My friend was sincere, he really meant it.... he was grateful that the Doctor had been able to bring back mom from the brink of death... But after a brief silence the unexpected happened...

Everyone there broke out into laughter including the Doctor... and apparently they laughed so hard, they were kicked out of the waiting room by security.

Smiling and at peace with these events, my friend tells me he had the privilege of enjoying his mom's company for two more weeks. And when she drew her last breath he was there to say goodbye...

Needless to say the story is beautiful, at least to me it is... and I'm grateful to him for having shared it with me...