RE: If you go into something expecting idiocy, then idiocy is likely what you will find.
Wonderfully said, my Steemit friend. I've been called a pretentious douchebag by Bernie (let's be honest, they are the primary "bad whale" which comes to mind reading your post) and I was flagged for months, sometimes in the last 12 hours to ensure no one else could upvote it to restore any rewards (now that's just mean).
I took the same approach you did. I called them out on their irrational behavior and didn't resort to name-calling or childish responses. I learned what I could from each interaction and even had a nice chat at one point to better understand their perspective. Eventually the flagging stopped, and we pretty much agree in that I think he's not a good actor here and he thinks I'm a douchebag. Maybe he's right, but I did find it interesting when friends who've known me personally in real life for many years disagreed, they were flagged as well.
Ultimately, unless whales here choose to treat others with dignity and respect, we'll be left with krakens who lash out and continually criticize anything around them. Maybe they are insecure, maybe they need attention, maybe they had a shitty life and don't know how else to act. I don't know, and it's not my job to fix them. It is my job, as a STEEM holder, to promote a healthy community and protect my investment. That's done by not keeping silent, but talking about things which cause harm here.
At the same time, I get how some "assholes" (sometimes they self-label this way as an honor of some kind) pride themselves in being the first to attack other abusers, as if that justifies their behavior the rest of the time. Maybe they've never seen how effective NVC can be. Maybe they are so depressed they simply don't care about themselves or anyone else. I can at least appreciate how, in their minds, they believe what they are doing is just, even if it just makes things worse for everyone. Dealing with emotionally unstable people requires love, patience, empathy and understanding, not more hate and anger.
I very much appreciate your post as one who also learned a lot by being flagged regularly and called names again and again.
tip! 20 hide
Thumbs up for the mention of NVC and bringing it into this arena.
I've seen (and used) NVC used effectively in a number of tense situations... what remains unexplored territory on that front (which may be applicable in some cases here) is how it works in the contest of those who simply enjoy poking at hornets' nests "because it's funny!" They don't that they-- or other people-- get stung and hurt every time they do it, and they will keep coming back to poke, every time they see a hornets' nest. Maybe it's a form of "controlled sociopathy;" that's not for me to judge.
Either way, hate and anger is NOT the answer, to be sure. Sometimes, giving them a cookie works, however...
Hahah... believe it or not I have hardly been flagged at all my entire time on steemit. That one a couple of days ago was actually my first BIG flag experience for myself.
I've been vocal about flagging for over a year primarily due to seeing other people flagged unjustly as far as I was concerned.
Though it is playing with fire. Eventually I had to get burned. :)
Thanks for the Tip. I need to look into that bot. :)
It's pretty sweet. I had fun giving out tips tonight. :)
Nextgencrypto (aka Bernie) and Steemed which I've been told may be Smooth's new account both finally got around to flagging this post too. I haven't looked into steemed yet.
Figured you would get flagged which is why I included a tip. :)
Hahah... thanks again. :)