Partner by Design: Emotional Alchemy Or Heartbreak Physics

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how and why people choose to be with the romantic partners they are with. Relationships are so complex but yet, so fragile. I ask myself; what specifically drives and maintains relationships? Is there a science and methodology to sustaining relationships, keeping them healthy and most importantly nurturing them to thrive, evolve and change as we ourselves do? I mean, I think that the ultimate key is to change and evolve as our partners do therefore one never outgrows and leaves the other behind. Thinking about this calls to mind the amount of effort modern day relationships seem to require, however, does this monumental effort only serve to be our detriment? Does Newton's third law hold true in our quest for emotional alchemy: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction? Does a relationship that requires so much effort produce an equal and opposite reaction and predict its inevitable demise?

Maybe I am making relationships into too convoluted of a matter. Maybe there is a much more easy way to approach our emotional alchemy? I am curious if we just find a physical template (ie: a human body of a particular gender and reasonably pleasing physical characteristics) we like and continually "download" the software we desire or find desirable onto same said template. We can do this very easily through conditioning and reinforcement of particular behaviours. Do the persons we believe we are dating actually exist? Or is it just a product of conscious design through our constant and continual tweaking and conditioning? We reward this behaviour? Shun this action? Encourage this academic, professional or personal pursuit? Do we condition our partners to be as we see them or more aptly how we want to see them? When relationships end, is it simply a matter of the "hard drive" being unable to upload anymore? It is just too costly to upgrade our system when we can get a new one much more cheaply?

Modern dating does somewhat have this sterile and logistical approach to it after all, doesn't it? It's easy to end relationships via text, email or Snapchat or through the modern day invention of "ghosting". Dating is yet another modern day example and the pinnacle of consumption practice. We toss people away with a swipe of our finger and continue on our quest to find the perfect partner with the promise so readily marketed and sold to us by the smorgasbord of online dating. Is anybody else full yet?

Stuff I was thinking about on a cold, grey sky day!