I have the same problem too, expressing feelings. Usually, I will keep quiet.
Losing both my parents taught me many things and seen many things in human behaviours. I stop going to funerals at one point to avoid all the human contact which I do not wish to face.
I don't go to funerals. I only go when it's a person who lived to an old age. On those occasions it is a party and people do not grieve as much. I avoid death as much as I can basically especially if the person is close and or young.
Close and young are the worst kind. Too much for me.