All of us tend to lie from time to time, but usually we undermine how lies really have an impact on others. We think lies are not such an big deal, but research shows that your average joe lies about 10-200 times a day. Here are a few practical ways to spot if someone is lying to you.
1 What drives them to lie in the first place?
It very important to find that why would they lie in the first place, what drives them to do so? Why would someone lie to you, and what scares and motivate him to do that to you? Why is he interested in lying to you? Many people lie with various reasons, they can be hiding something from you, denying what people accuse them of, even trying to mislead you by feeding you false information, or they very simply just want to avoid a problem or conflict so they do this by lying.
Hiding, Denying, Misleading, and White lies. People lie for many reasons. So the first step is to understand the reason why they lie? Could they be hiding something from you that you don't know? If you have understood the reason why someone has lie to your, then you are already half way there! The next step is to confirm it whether that the reason that they lie to you is true, in other words to confirm your predictions. Before you try to figure out if someone is lying to you, its important that you do not let the other person feel that you are suspecting him. Make him comfortable and give him time to speak out and express all or anything he has to say. Often times, people are stressed out when they lie, and when they say alot of unnecessary things, and this will help you figure out whether his lying or not. Don't argue with them, its hard to find out if someone is lying, especially when they are really good at doing so and used to it. So try not to argue or criticize and give him opportunities to speak out. Because the reason why you should not let them feel that you are suspecting them, they will become more careful and behave with more accuracy so that you won't find out in the end. Now, how do we spot an lier? How do you know if someone is lying to you or not? Heres the ways to do so.
Begin to ask them honest questions
Start to ask them something that you know that he/she will answer it honestly without lying. Then extra attention to his tone of voice, facial expression and body language while his answer your question honestly. Then start to ask about the questions that you think yourself that his lying about. If you notice and realize an constant change in his tone of voice or facial expression then its highly likely that the person is lying to you. For instance, the person smiles at you while talking about that and later the smile disappears after your question then its likely the person is hiding something from you. Because when you lie, we act in strange ways and we don't act naturally since we are so stressed out and out brain is thinking how to appear as honest as possible. But thats still not enough, you cannot accuse someone who is lying is because of that one feature. That why its always important to confirm your predictions, try to confirm your prediction and repeat this process a couple of times and ask him about what he might be lying and see his change. Now, what are the verbal signs when someone is lying? When someone is lying, they usually lower their voice, as if nothing has occurred, they are trying to act naturally which basically makes them look unnatural instead of their normal behaviour. The closer that they are talking about the lie itself, they will lower their voice trying to make sure you do not hear clearly as if its not important at all. Because in their mind they know they are lying, that they are doing something wrong and lying to you. In other to know the difference, just compare to how they would speak normally to you. Often, people usually have a flat tone of voice which is neither loud nor low. Unless they are experiencing emotional changes, and expressing or defending their opinion because in that case people would raise their voices as they want to be heard and understood because they are so filled with emotions. And if you know that person well enough it gets way easier for you to find out if they are not behaving naturally. And please do not forget that you do not appear like you are suspecting him because that will just make it more difficult and complicated. You still have to pay close attention to their face and their body movements. Because nonverbal signs also play an major role in finding out if someone is lying. When people usually lie, they are focused on the lie itself trying to converse about it as if its the real truth but when they feel that their lie is exposed, their face muscles stretch abit as if they are very stressed out and thats not difficult to realize. Unconsciously they are trying to get away from you who they are lying to. They may stand up and sit across the table and put something on the table such as his phone or wallet or just walk backwards from you. Usually, liers try to avoid eye contact from you because its difficult to look someone in the eyes and lie directly. They might also ask you to repeat the question which may expose his lie to give him more time to think. Their body movement also slows down especially at their hands because their mind is so busy focused on the lie itself so they might keep their hands in their pockets. There are numerous signs to spot an lier. But these are some of the important ones. So find out what drives someone to lie, the reason behind it, then ask them honest questions that you know they will answer honestly and compare it to the questions that you ask that you suspect them lying to confirm your prediction. Ask questions that they definitely will lie about and compare their reactions. Most especially, their tone of voice and their body language. Its takes practise to spot if someone is lying but it really works.