TRUST, is this an outmoded concept or should we encourage ourselves and others to generate and engender it?
Have you ever had your proverbial legs chopped out from beneath you by someone or something in which you trusted, only to discover that you trust was misplaced? I have.
One’s sense of self is derived from the age of about 6 weeks, until then you are in automatic mode, building strength and defence through nourishment.
There is a well-used phrase, ‘show me the boy (or girl) at seven and I will show you the man (or woman).’ Our foundations as individuals are formed at a very young age. Yes, variations occur but to a limited extent.
7-Up is an extraordinary series of documentaries well worth watching. This is the first episode: 7-Up 1964
Trust is something which we feel and experience on numerous levels:
Personal
- Parents
- Friends
- Teachers
- Clergy
- Lovers
- Partners
- Spouse(s)!
Institutional
- Police/Law
- Government Local/National/Global
- Medical
- Financial (Banks/Investment Houses/Currencies)
There are then some areas where trust becomes more subjective: Information, media, news, weather, politics, economics, nature, environment, arts, sports, education, parenting … it continues.
Over the last two decades, social scientists have repeatedly suggested that good things tend to happen in societies where people tend to trust each other — they have stronger democracies, richer economies, better health, and they suffer less often from any number of social ills.
Interestingly, the ‘social trust’ in the former communist run Eastern Bloc has declined since the liberalisation of these nations. I have heard it said that in Ukraine there was grudging happiness under communism; everyone got to eat. There is a lot of discontent now due to the increasing disparity between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have-nots’.
“Society is based on Trust”
Is Trust just a mutual code which tells us to drive on the right (or left), stop at red lights, and conduct yourself according to the Law of the Land? Or is there a deeper more spiritually-centric version of trust which is a subjectively imposed set of values?
Who do you trust? What do you trust?
Are there areas in your life where Trust has had to be re-evaluated?
Is Trust worth it?
Meantime follow @ebryans
Namaste!
This brings up some interesting questions. Most of the countries that have higher trust are wealthier countries. Were those citizens trusting before their countries became prosperous, or only afterward? If memory serves me right, I've seen statistics in the past that showed crime tends to go up when wealth decreases and visa versa. One of the reasons for this: When times are tough, more people feel they need to steal in order to survive. If more people are stealing, it stands to reason that the populace would be less trusting of thier neighbors.
I feel like I was rambling, was that coherent? Haha.
Thank you so much for your comments @shenanigator, the concept of trust is a tricky one - to me the increasing isolation we all experience is a loss to the community building which society needs. I have known people to live is situations where they have never spoken to their neighbours - that cannot be a good thing!
Trust has eluded me , so far everything has betrayed me in one way or another, either by my fault of just through me giving something/one the benefit of the doubt and trusting them with something and expecting something,
It's actually pretty hurtful to experience, Friends Family, :| ,
so far I'm reluctant to trust anything anymore , have to figure it out by myself, maybe I will get lucky and break the losing streak :D I'm off to watch the 7up episode
I tend to trust games and mathematics :D
now that I've thought about it :D
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Cheers!
Hi @j3dy, thank you for commenting. I so appreciate it! I have seen your name about 4/5 times today - must be a concentric circle!
It sounds like you have had a rough string of experiences. I hope very much that you can see a path through to some sense of equilibrium.
One of the reasons I wrote this piece is that I have a tendency to trust which has cost me. I have also had a series of trust experiences at different levels and, as they say, such troubles come 'in battalions!'
Like you, I am aware that there have been instances where I have almost invited being let down: self-fulfilling prophecy stuff.
I wrote this trying to be neutral about the +/- equation. I fear losing a part of myself were I to become cynical - just a normal progression.
Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed 7-up - there are quite a few in the series, at least 7 or 8!
Namaste!
Thank you , well it's not all bad it's just life I guess and when you are young you tend to have astronomical wishes sometimes, even conflicting.
Anyway you are right , don't let go and become cynical , it's harder to go back from that
I remember a quote from somewhere "Behind every cynic was a dreamer one day" something along those lines
As far as the circle, yes , we are following each other to the same spaces sometimes :), mostly people tend to look for similarities :)
Cheers ! and Keep Hwaiting :D
This is a fascinating and thought provoking article. I'm convinced that trust is the most underrated factor in the success of teams and organisations but it is also one of the most elusive and challenging to cultivate, taking months and sometimes years to intentionally move into a trusting place relationally with people. In Western culture the move towards individualism and particularly the relative nature of people's experience in a post-modern culture make social fragmentation increasingly more acute. Interesting to see where we go. Feel like I've only scratched the surface...
Thanks for the reply Jonny! Yes, the article was really only designed to prick people's thoughts. Trust is an enormous problem on many levels. As a relatively old git on this platform, though not the oldest(!) I have seen a huge amount of healthy mistrust increasingly exercised. Were people to behave as I was raised, they would spend a lot of time getting their face off the floor! It is a sad indictment of society. I used to run Team Building events in London and so have seen the good, the bad and the ugly!
Thanks for the reply - replies are manna from heaven, you will find.
Have a great day and hoping we can beat India in the third 20/20!!
Gosh you must have seen quite a bit and have some horror stories! I'll certainly be keeping an eye on the third 20/20 though. Like you say, most people end up on the floor acting like victims rather than developing powerful resilience to actually make necessary change. Don't know about you but it feels like offense is one of the biggest hurdles to people getting over themselves. I'd be fascinated to hear more of how you got into team building in a place like London....
Horror stories I have seen ... many!
I had an Event Management company in the 90s, Force 10 Events. It was a corporate event company with a stress upon change management. I did a lot of fun events with Mars, Deutsche Bank, The Post Office, Xerox (XBS) and others. Team building was a big part of the offering. I called it change management rather than team building as it was focussed upon business success through team building.
England losing wickets ...
Wow sounds fascinating! It's funny that you were in that realm of work as it's a field I'd love to end up in down the line - although less on the event side of things and more with the leadership development. I'm currently a pastor but the same team principles apply where ever you are to be honest! Haven't checked the score for a while...
That is all very funny! I used to go to St Paul's Onslow Sq., you might well know of HTB, the big brother (very big).
Anyway, England lost 8wkts for 8 runs. Devising and running events was my favourite role ever. I was more the architect and my business partner was the logistics - ex-Irish Guards! We had a great thing going. Happy to give you more detail on another format. [[email protected]]