The Search for Meaning and Importance... Does it Matter?
"What is the meaning of life?"
It's one of those questions people ask sometimes... and we tend to kind of laugh nervously and make awkward references to great philosophers, then perhaps reach for another beer.
But seriously...
What exactly IS importance? And what IS meaning?
The more I have considered this-- which has been quite a bit-- the more it becomes evident that discovering what feels important and meaningful is a very individual thing. It's also a very relative thing.
The park and view for my quiet morning
My mother passed away, some eight years ago.
At the time, she was living in the south of Spain where I spent my teenage years, and I was living in western Washington state, in the US of A. Although she was in her 80's and not in the best of health, there was really no feasible way for me to keep any kind of eye on her as I was simply too far away... and at the back of my mind, I knew that I would simply get a phone call someday, that she had passed.
Indeed, that is precisely what happened... fortunately, my half-brother had been vacationing nearby, at the time she passed away after a very short stay in a local hospital.
"Acute Liver Failure."
Not a huge surprise, given a life of heavy drinking.
A Morning of Reflection at the Park
She was cremated and all arrangements "over there" were made very quickly... less than 24 hours from time of death. There was no way for me to go, on such short notice... besides, I didn't have $2000 for a plane ticket.
White lavender blossom
My half-brother texted me and let me know when they were going to scatter her ashes... "on the mountainside where she'd always liked the view."
When the time came-- ten in the morning, by my US local time, 7pm in Spain-- I went to a local park with a view of the sea; different and yet similar to where I imagined they'd be.
The time came... and passed.
I realized that my mother had passed. And that I would never see her again. This woman-- who had given me life-- had left this plane of existence. Mostly... I just felt very quiet.
Then I looked around me... there were children, playing on the swings nearby. A young couple were making out on a bench. Across the street a FedEx driver was making his morning deliveries. In the next house down, they must be having plumbing issues... the plumber was digging a trench in the yard. Out on the water, the ferry sailed for Whidbey Island...
MY MOTHER JUST DIED!
And yet, life around me just continued as if nothing had happened; people going about their business as usual unaware that somewhere across the ocean, an 87-year old woman had drawn her last breath. Someone's mother, someone's sister, someone's cousin, someone's wife, someone's friend.
Fall leaves
There was no "moment of silence;" no "prayers said;" just the pervasive hum of commerce...
At that moment, it really hit me how none of us are important, and none of this is important... and yet ALL of us and ALL of this is immensely important... and all at the same time.
And it also made me realize that the quest for meaning and importance so many people pursue-- trying to get to the meaning of life-- isn't something we can find "out there," it's something we have inside us... and it's already there. We just have to wake up to ourselves and give ourselves permission to see it.
And it's important... because if we just pretend there's nothing there we'll end up bottling up a whole lot of feelings... and becoming a bit like a powder keg, ready to blow. My mother had just died, and that was important to me... even if to nobody else.
How about YOU? Do you ever ponder the search for meaning and importance? Do you recognize how things can be the most important thing in your life-- EVER-- and yet nobody seems to notice? Have you ever stopped to think about how few people will actually be aware, when you pass away? And how you can look at a crowded scene and know that almost every since one will be gone, 100 years from now... and none of the people in the NEW crowded scene will even know? Leave a comment-- share your experiences and feedback-- join the conversation!
Note: This post is part of @merej99's "Community Engagement Challenge." For more information, please read the original announcement!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170710 16:08 PDT
When people say "It was meant to happen"... sigh. As if it's all part of destiny or some "grand" plan. Sometimes shit happens. And sometimes their are causal signs of likely negative effects to come at some point, like ill health. But none of it is meant to be. We make our own destiny, fate, fortune and future, and causes have their effects. We have many causal pathways we can choose from to avoid negative effects.
Our significance is felt by those who have interacted with us. Spheres within spheres of contact to various degrees. Just because something doesn't affect all spheres doesn't make it automatically less important :)
The meaning and purpose is what we make for ourselves. But from my understanding, the overall underlying purpose in consciousness is through conscience, synderesis and syneidesis, (all related words) to learn from our past actions and lead ourselves into the future destiny we create by our karma-causal interchange with what happens as a result. Understanding the functionality of consciousness-psyche-etc., and behavior with the cause and effect result upon reality and others, will promote greater reciprocal cooperative survival optimization, i.e. greater harmony and unity ;) That's why moral truth is how unity and freedom is enhanced.
Meaning and purpose is an individual thing... it's just like I keep telling people there's nothing "magical and mystical" about the idea that we "create our own reality." We're merely putting intent and purpose in a specific direction we have become aware of and now are moving towards.
It's like that old experiment with cars: There are very few yellow cars... till you're in the market for a yellow car. Then they are suddenly everywhere. Except they are not... but your focus and intent shifted, giving the appearance they are.
Sometimes shit does happen. Some years back, my stepdad was peacefully driving to the grocery store in Phoenix, Arizona, along a major street, minding his own business. He passes an apartment building where there's either a drug deal gone bad or a domestic dispute... either way, someone in an apartment picks up a gun, shoots at someone else, misses and the bullet goes out the window and hits my stepdad in the shoulder. I can't think of a way "being more conscious" could have somehow prevented that from happening to him... fortunately, the result was only a big bruise.
Lucky guy. Yeah we can control of our own lives to head int he direction we mean to, or have a purpose to go in, but we also interact in a world with others who do things we can't control. I hate hearing the catch phrase "control is an illusion" because it's not, it just obviously no one has 100% of everything or anything that can happen in their lives. Just like the willusionist fools who say "free will is an illusion" or "freedom is an illusion". those are false statements that falsely take the position of absolutism as the only way something is not an "illusion".
I am so moved by what you shared.
My father died 7 years ago from liver cancer and it's been a huge hole in my heart ever since. I remember feeling that strange sensation of MY world stopping and yet everyone else was going about their business like nothing happened. How could they not feel the terrible shift in the world. Ahhh... but if I keep on about it I fear I may start to cry and the burden of being a living legacy to my father, and my beloved aunt, sometimes seem too heavy.
Thanks @merej99... these moments ultimately teach us perspective, I'd like to think. I have learned that what happens in my own circle has the potential to be huge and life changing... and indeed everything can stop... for hours, for days, for weeks. And yet? I am but a tiny dust mote, floating in an immense universe that-- as a whole-- will probably never see me. And yet? Within that immense universe are an almost infinite number of fellow travelers whose individual and personal circles represent "everything there IS," to them and yet they are not more or less seen than anyone else.
Whoa... didn't intend to go all philosophical and deep on you there... but I think you might be getting my drift...
It's truly inspiring what all of those little specks in the universe can create :)
My search for meaning
Relationships: Friends and family - connecting with people gives me so much meaning. It can be hard, loving someone so much and having to put up with them at the same time!
Hobbies: Those things which are expressive and rewarding or act as metaphors for spiritual processes or personal transformation. Those things which aid or benefit my survival.
Nature: Connecting with the so-called mother of all life.
Thank you for the article :)
Connections; relationships... yes, for sure. For us, mostly our kids and grandkids... but also friends. Family: Sometimes you can't live with them, and you can't shoot them!
And I'm totally with you on nature-- "nature is my church" is a phrase I often use... I think that's also why I chose a quiet park after my mom died.
Thanks for a great comment!
Your viewpoint makes all the difference.
That may sound banal but in its simplest form, where you view something from (literally and figuratively) determines something's importance and meaning.
The closer I am to something (physically or emotionally), the more important it is.
The more distant it is, the less important it is.
My parents are 1200 miles away, but they're also right here.
I have siblings within 100 miles and they might just as well be on the far side of the Moon.
Indeed... it's all a matter of perspective... and you're exactly right about distance. I'm very close to my cousin (in Denmark, 7000 miles away) and she's far more "here" than some of my ostensible local "friends."
Thanks for your post.
Both my parents are beginning that slide and reading your post before it actually happens makes it a little easier to confront.
With 9 billion people or whatever it is on the planet... all we can do is find our own little corner of the world to call our own.
And the whole planet will never find us meaningful... nor we, it. So we create meaning in the small corner that is our back yard.
This is a great post @denmarkguy. We should enjoy every minute for we do not know when our last one will be. Sorry for the loss of your mom. i know it's difficult being so far away. You have the wonderful memories you shared with her. Take care!
Thanks @sgnsteems... we should, indeed, make a point of not only enjoying every moment... but also, let's pause and express our gratitude for the great moments we experience... so we don't even up taking them for granted.
That is so true! People nowadays take everything for granted. Not everything is guaranteed, so we have to appreciate them :)
I can not say any more, because mother is important for us. She is part of our life. :)
She is indeed part of our life... and she GAVE us life.
Life goes on, its stop for nothing
You're quite right Karen, it really doesn't stop... everything just keeps going. And then, one day, we will no longer BE (here) and it still doesn't stop...
The question is What is the point? :)
Great post
Congratulations!
Thank you!