Bad Parenting.

in philosophy •  6 months ago


Modern psychology has given humanity invaluable insight into parenting and what makes a good parent as opposed to what bad parenting is. Fortunately, in my life, I didn't have to suffer bad parenting although I wouldn't say I was raised by good parenting. It was a working-class English ethos with not much consideration to higher education or finer upper neo-cortex sensibilities. But this post isn't about me. Just a note though on the kids I lived with when living out on the streets between 1979 and 1986. I was out there as one of the three groups of spiritualists: the 'spiritual quester' as I gave away what I owned in '79 to go on this spiritual investigation and it's been one hell of an interesting 40-years, but I digress. The point, though, was the difference between me and all those screwed up traumatized kids was bad parenting! Overwhelmingly, most of the kids I talked to out there shared stories of being traumatized and beaten or otherwise by their parents and I'll note here that very many of them shared stories of religious abuse. It's, in part, why I view childhood religious indoctrination as a type of child abuse.

I would say that prior to modernity and the knowledge it entailed there was a basic understanding of common sense within the parenting model--sadly, and perhaps somewhat tragically this common-sense notion disappears when the lens gets shifted to religion and God.

But first I think it's reasonable to focus on the failures of modernity and the education model or lack thereof when it comes to one of the most important areas of human life. We, as a society, put 16-year olds through all kinds of hoops just to get a driver's license but the same 16-year old has no restrictions or qualifications when bringing offspring into the world--it's an anything-goes, model when it comes to Darwinian drives. Hell, to rub salt into the wound, the nanny welfare state pays these kids to bring dysfunction into the world! Now I'm not saying every young person who brings a child into the world is a bad parent--some of them are obviously great parents but this doesn't disqualify my larger societal concerns. Any move or development into a healthy post-postmodern society will have to deal with a new education model for parenting. This would be a part of the education within  The Four Pillars of a new sustainable integrated model for civilization.

This brings us to the argument for poor design. The psychology of humans combined with the length of helplessness within the human animal causes incredible and near unlimited dysfunction and failure. It could be argued that if humans were designed to be this way by malevolent archons then this prolonged helplessness was one of the primary engineering devices of control--a most definite negative intention.

Western theism specifically has to become a contortionist or redefine the notion of what good is when it comes to the issue of parenting. I don't accept the redefining of good-by western theism when it comes to their apology for God and its poor design choices and often abominable behavior when analyzed by any rational standard. Good parents don't set up offspring against offspring in a millennia-old struggle of death, blood, and violence! Only an evil God would do such a thing and this is the Gnostic position. A GOOD God doesn't punish anyone forever for not getting it right in one life--only an evil God would do such a thing and this is the Gnostic position. A good parent whether human or God doesn't need or demand worship, only an evil God would ask for such a thing and this is the Gnostic position. I'll link here my fave atheist YouTuber, Underlings, who clearly and succinctly deconstructs the western theistic notion of heaven and concludes rationally and rightfully that this version of heaven is really a hell! Only an evil God would offer up this version of 'heaven' and this is the Gnostic position. I could go on and on here but these points suffice (or should) when arguing this case.

I'll note here that we do get into religious efficacy arguments as they pertain to how society should be structured and this is an important and worthwhile discussion but I sit squarely in the Secular Humanist model for society and believe religion to be an adult only area of inquiry. If it were up to me I'd make it so the inquiry into God and reality would begin at around university age and as an elective. I am in no way advocating for the abolishment of religion or religiosity but rather I'm arguing that religionists not be allowed societal power. Once again I see this as a compromise between the idealists and the materialists in much the same way that my Four Pillars are a compromise between The Marxists and Capitalism.

I should note as I often do that for this model to work Secular Humanism would have to function at incredibly high levels of reason, logic, and integrity. This can't happen under the present neoliberal corporate oligarchy as far as I can see.

That's all for the moment:)

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Reading your thoughts about a good God and an evil God made me remember this excellent video from years ago, if you watch it let me know what are your thoughts :)


Hey, dedicatedguy. Good video and I don't think you're wrong either about that particular version of God.
I recently watched one of your vids on YouTube and thought it quite well done:)
Something to ponder: the move from literalist Christianity to materialism and atheism leaves out a wide spectrum of other possibilities--one of them the Christian Gnostic version of this story which I find more congruent and coherent, but I do frame my thoughts on that tradition as speculative. I identify as an Agnostic Gnostic while at the same time having no quarrel with materialism and atheism per se.
Cheers! And keep up the good work!
Oh, and your video is equally valid if you were a Jew or a Muslim--both faiths mired in every imaginable contradiction and irrationality.
IMO., Hinduism deserves its own unique deconstruction on this issue.


Cool mate, but that video isn't mine by the way.

I shared it because its subject was similar to the things you were written in your article, but I am not that guy hehe :P. Either way, I agree with what you are saying, and of course, I also agree with the video I shared.

Cheers mate!


No worries and thanks for dropping in:)

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You know when I grew up my Dad was the council boy done good. We lived in a nice house in the countryside, loads of land, life was good. My Mum used to take us to Church every Sunday and was part of the church community, although I was always pretty naughty so I didn't really fit into it too well :)

My Dad eventually became very ill and nearly died, he lost his job, my parents split up and we lost the house. The people that had previously been our church friends obviously sensed they no longer had anything to gain from the relationship and so pretty much ostracised us, I remember occasions with people crossing the road to avoid speaking to us. This was a valuable life lesson for me for it showed me that people hide behind many masks and that equally there is far more to life than accumulating wealth .. I'm rich in experience, friendships, life and spirit and whilst I may never be financially rich I'd take the former over the latter any day of the week. Great post dude!


Funny enough, I went through family turmoil as I entered my teens and that safe childhood enclosure died forever. So I feel how your life changed.
I think most religiosity is benign and a helpful defense mechanism against our existential condition and anxieties. But anything past the power drives of The Amish is a power drive gone too far if it's religion doing the societal control. Although not all religiosity is harmless as a pastor just got chewed up by an alligator this week when doing a baptism. Yikes! A different​ issue though...
The only use I'd have for money at this point is to escape the frozen north:)
Good to hear that your ethics are in fine working condition!