Releasing Pain, Anger, & Resentment from Tough Relationships
I recently went through an extremely devastating breakup after ending up in a relationship with a woman who brought out the best and the very worst in me. The relationship became very ugly on both ends near the last days. I have been having a really difficult time releasing the pain, anger, and resentment over how the relationship ended. I was given the idea to ritualize a release and to commemorate the beautiful aspects of the relationship. I found this idea wonderful on many levels and thought I would share with you what is going on so maybe you could adapt this to your own needs.
The subconscious mind speaks in nonlinear forms of communication: Symbols.
The conscious mind uses linear thought patterns in order to establish a timeline which is congruent with the experience of reality. The subconscious mind is not charged with the duty of continuity, thus nonlinearity takes charge. By creating a ritual and using images to convey an idea, I am working to effectively create and establish a connection to the subconscious mind.
Tools:
Chalk
Whiteboard/blank paper
Writing utensil
Object that represents good within the relationship seeking healing
4x tea candles
Rites:
Begin by consecrating your workspace however it is your practice calls for (i.e. sage, bells, chanting, visualization, etc).
Next, use your whiteboard or paper and create a sigil being sure to be precise (I wasn't planning on sharing this until I finished so I have no pictures of this step. If you need guidance on how to create a sigil, Click Here).
After your sigil is created and charged, quiet your mind back in meditation momentarily. When relaxed, begin to focus forth all of the pain and anger caused by the relationship.
As you are visualizing and meditating on these experiences, begin to draw the sigil before you feeling the emotions and energies flow down and out through the chalk, into the sigil.
At this point, things become rather subjective so I will be switching to firstperson.
I put a seal around the sigil utilizing a triangle to represent the three fold aspect of life and divinity.
Next, I placed a candle atop the sigil and said aloud the feelings and experiences I was releasing and birthed them into the flame as I lit the candle.
I then placed a candle in the bottom corners of the triangle in smaller triangles to represent myself and the loved one.
As I lit the candles, I spoke aloud what they represent and asked that the flames be an ever guiding light on our path to healing.
I then bowed slightly and stood up. As I faced the altar before me, I spoke aloud, "I leave these things in the past and release them to be healed and transmuted," and stepped off out of the room to symbolize leaving it in the past.
I retrieved the lantern which was gifted to me and means a lot on a spiritual level from the other room and brought it back to the altar.
I sat down with the lantern and lit a candle while speaking, "May this light ever shine as a reminder of the beauty which existed."
I then closed with a brief prayer and stood up.
After completing the ritual, I feel loads better. Certainly it isn't instant nor perfect, but every tool for healing is useful.
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Sorry to hear about your breakup we always learn from these events though. We attract into our lives people/circumstances based on our unhealed parts of ourselves, for example if you have a betrayal wound then you may attract into your life someone who may betray you, and like you say unless we heal those subconscious aspects that drew the person in then we are just repeating cycles.
Absolutely! Every moment is a lesson waiting to be extracted and implemented. I have been doing my best to search through the debris to learn, and trying out some new things to try and break the cycle I keep repeating.
Wow, man.
(And I'm sorry been out of touch. Dealing with my own haunts in love of varying kinds.)
This is heavy in your chart, by the way. It is one of the more striking characteristics actually.
I'm making you a recording of my notes. Just been busy and had several personal reasing requests all at once.
Saging here with you.
<3
Yeah, it's a pattern that won't go away no matter what I do differently lol
Take your time, bredren, I look forward to it eagerly. <3
I'm sorry that you are going through this. But I find this ritual beautiful and a great idea for clearing and healing. Blessing to you and may your stars shine brightly.
Thank you, @amrauthor, I appreciate your kind words greatly.
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relationships has it good and bad side and i am not surprise the bad side sprung out anger and pain. Its so sad for someone like you to have experienced such. From the ritual perspective, it think it worth taking the risk..
Nice post you've shared here..i am glad i pondered on it @alchemage
Does Tarot help in this regard?
Tarot helps when I am in the right state of mind, otherwise I read all doom and gloom lol