RE: What Real Pain Feels Like - An Overwhelming & Emotional Dream Visitation
Dude... hopefully you feel a bit more closure after some decent rest. I still can't believe his rage 2 years ago.... I honestly can't comprehend it.
Do you have a brother (you mentioned one in the dream) - what was his relationship with your Dad like? My relationship with my own Dad is really good, but my relationship with my Mum isn't great. She wasn't abusive as such, but she was furious all the time and super manipulative, and I've barely spoken to her since I moved out. The last couple of years she's been really trying and came to visit us in the US for 4 days last September... I don't even think she's the person that she was when I was younger, but it's hard to let all that go... but I'd also be pretty weirded out if something happened to her. The bridge isn't burned but it's definitely highly singed. I'll drop her a message today to help close the gap.
Thanks for sharing man... it's amazing the effect all these relationships have on us.
Thanks for your quality contribution. My brother had a great relationship with him, just like my sister. My brother is the one who's made a lot of huge mistakes and encountered problems worthy of some criticism, but he's got a clean slate because my Dad didn't know about them.
While the scenario isn't ideal for you, it feels divine to me that you both have a chance to repair some things to at least be cordial for the long run. There's nothing worse than knowing you need closure when you thought you could handle it, and that closure from the source is completely impossible as that person isn't alive anymore. Save yourself the future torture and get to a point where you're confident that you won't have long-term baggage that will haunt you. Nothing will undo the past or be perfect, but you have the opportunity I never had to try to address this properly (because my Dad's brain was not fully-functioning to comprehend/address/discuss anything of substance on this topic peacefully - and/or he may have actually forgot it happened as much as my Mom grilled him about it regularly for months).
Thanks dude, that's really good advice. It's so easy to tell myself that I just don't care about anyone's opinion unless I choose to (ie, I care about my partner's opinion, but not so much my Mum's) but I think you're totally right and I'd rather not risk it. I'd hate to find out I actually had a ton of unresolved baggage after it was too late.
Just sent my Mum a message... I've clearly still got a lot of baggage there... petty little voices telling me to not be so nice to her, I've got to find a way to work through it... but thanks for the kick Matt!