Don't React - Respond

I woke up the other day to find a post of mine, on which I'd received a fair amount of engagement, downvoted. It was a good post and the downvotes pushed it to $0.00. I was annoyed that someone would do that. It generated more activity than most of my articles, so I was hoping to get some good feedback and earn a bit of Steem.

Unfortunately, due to the flagging, my post was not being seen by other users. I knew that this incident was not just limited to my post, so I thought I would write an article about it. I penned my article with the greatest level of eloquence I could. I broke things down, provided a summary of the problem, and made a glorious call to action. I even quoted James Madison, to make a point. Then, I got in contact with one of the accounts that downvoted me and talked to them about the issue as a whole, the next morning.

They corrected the situation, were understanding, and we had a really good chat. I took the post I'd written, deleted it and started a new one - this one. I realized that by being open to discussing the issue without hostility and not assuming malicious intent from the other party, I was able to achieve a result that left us both happy. Now, my purpose in sharing that story was to show that we can achieve happy resolutions to our conflicts if we collect ourselves and respond to conflict instead of reacting. I'd like to share with you some of the principles that we can employ to help us resolve conflicts:

• Clear Your Mind
  Sometimes we need to rant. When you are feeling really emotional about an issue, gather your thoughts and write an article to the Steemit community. Make it eloquent, think through your arguments, use quotes, whatever helps you draft the best article. Then take a deep breath - and delete it entirely.

  We are never as eloquent as we think we are, especially not when we are emotional. It is important that we think through things while we are emotional, but we should never take action on those thoughts alone. Sleep on it. It took me 12 hours to realize that I needed to change my approach. It might have taken longer had I been more upset.

• See the Big Picture
  Imagine you are a stranger who has just seen the facts of the conflict. What is the problem? What is the bigger picture of that problem? Ask your family or friends what they think about the issue. Figure out what might cause this conflict to arise again. How can you work towards a solution that might benefit others who run into this problem? Write out your findings.

• Speak Privately
  Consider how you can contact the person you have conflict with in a private way. The entire world doesn't need to hear your discussion. Once you have an idea of what the big picture is and how you might go about solving it, start writing to create a resolution that benefits both your side and the opposing side of the argument. What is the settlement, not that you would want, but that you would accept? If I am lost in the desert and extremely thirsty and someone offers me a water bottle for $1,000 - I may not want to accept the offer, but I will, because I am thirsty.

  Now, once you have an idea of what you might accept as a resolution, reach out to them for a private discussion. Whenever you feel like declaring something, ask a question instead. Instead of saying, "You have wronged me" say something like "Wouldn't you feel badly if someone were to treat you this way?" Help them to empathize with your point of view, while at the same time trying to empathize with theirs. Most people don't hold malicious intentions towards you, so find out why they did what they did.

• Identify Solutions
  Suggest ways in which you could eliminate your conflict. Try to suggest solutions that sound favorable to the other party as well. You won't always get what you want in a negotiation and if you let the other person know that you are considering their interests as well, they will be much more likely to make a deal. Your goal is not to "win," but to achieve a positive result. Ask them what they think and what would make them happy. Remember, when we give value, we get value, whether it be in blogging, work, negotiations, or life in general.

• Happy Resolution
  Thank the other person for the progress you've made. If you succeeded in reaching a resolution, congratulations. If they can't agree on a settlement and you can't give more than what you've offered, then politely thank them for the opportunity and leave on a positive note. You did the best you could. If the issue is still a problem, then pursue outside methods to address it. You have approached the party first and offered resolution in a manner that was respectful to them - if they deny it, you can rest assured you did your best to persuade them privately.

What strategies do you have for conflict resolution? Please let me know in the comments. If you enjoyed this article, please upvote, follow, and resteem! Also, if you guys have any suggestions for articles, feel free to leave those in the comments as well. I've been writing about things that I've been learning, but I am definitely open to writing on topics you'd find interesting. Thanks for reading!

Spacecadet1