Cool insight into your past life. I do see some baseball shoulders there. As for grudges, I'd say that I've never really had any until my Dad situation, but that's a unique situation. Maybe you could write/perform a song for him to have his wife show him to spark some good memories and snap him out of it.
That's actually a very good idea, I found a rough recording of us all playing with a mutual friend that lost his battle to cancer and this was the last time we all played together. Id hate to feel like I'm using his passing to prove something but it would convey a powerful message that we've been through too much to let something silly ruin our friendship..
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