Lessons Half Learned: Intentionally Capture Beautiful Parenting Moments

So much happens in a day. Almost just as much is forgotten each day.

There are precious, beautiful moments happening all around me. Even if I am present enough to appreciate those moments, my grip on these treasures is usually piss poor.

Time is fickle, and I am not the first parent to recognize how the unfolding years seem to collapse in on themselves. I think it is fairly universal to feel like the time with your most loved ones hasn't stuck around for long enough.

As if these experiences lack an essential amount of stickiness, we may even feel slighted by some enemy: work, obligations, strife, the universe.

The fact is, our bodies and brains are really bad at remembering the things that we most want. One traumatic car accident, and you may find yourself flinching in similar circumstances for years. People tend to vividly recall intricate details of deeply negative or abusive situations. Even the ones that weren't actively meditated on or journaled about.

The sweetness of a delightful moments can get abandoned in the mempool of our lives. Don't we value them? Why would it be this way?

I suppose that is a question for the neurologists, or maybe the philosophers, depending on what you mean by "why."

Are our months destined for obscurity?

Sometime last year, I read a fascinating report that broke down some of the differences between how are brain operates in positive versus negative experiences. (Please forgive me for not having the source, I searched but came up empty).

A part of this study found that profoundly negative or traumatic events leave a kind of "imprint" in your brain that codes in a lot of data from that instant. Other factors may make it difficult to consciously access this data, but it is there in a profound way. So many of our rich and beautiful encounters do not have this power.

But there is hope!

Through intentionality and mindfulness, we can help our brain focuses on a moment. It is a route, but it still is not easy. The author I was reading said that it can take 15 seconds or more of deep focus to get those memories stored. I remember reading that and thinking that I could do that no problem.

Turns out I am really bad at it. To meditate on something right in front of me for 15 seconds without being taken down the stream of unending thoughts is hard for me.

I was reminded of that struggle on this snowy Saturday afternoon

As I rocked my fussy son to sleep, I wanted to really take in the reality of his presence against mine.
I reflected on the sound of his slowed breathing as he drifted towards a nap. I noted the familiar smell of his hair while he rested on my shoulder. I thought about the weight of his tiny body and how that has changed so much in only three months. After placing him in his bassinet, i studied his gentle face.

I struggled to do this for even a mere 15 seconds. I am glad that I tried.

His nap might not have lasted very long.

But I am hopeful that this moment will have greater lasting power.

What beauties in your life do you want to hold on to? What will you do to capture them?

Cheers,

Sam

Image Sources: Sand, Leaves

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