A Lesson In Assuming
You know the saying, "The word assume makes an ass out of you and me?" Get it? Ass....u....me? Yeah, funny right? Well, I feel like an ass right now.
I was convinced that a horrible prank was played on my daughter today, because in fact, she had been bullied before. Once she was intent on making her arch nemesis a necklace because, in her words, "She promised not to bully me anymore if I made her one." Stories about her being shoved in line, comments from other students about her limited wardrobe (when we were living in a shelter), being sent on a "mission" by herself at recess, so her "friends" could be rid of her. So, yeah, I'm a little sensitive at the possibility of her being bullied.
Well, when she came home with an invitation to a party, and a phone number not in service, I immediately assumed it was an evil trick. You can read my post here: https://steemit.com/parenting/@snowpea/at-a-loss-advice-appreciated
In my post, I asked for advice in dealing with this, and received many thoughtful responses. @cygon shared this quote, "Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by incompetence." So true. He said, "Generally it's not worth getting worked up that someone intentionally did something to slight you when they just as easily could have made a mistake."
I wound up taking my mother in law's advice, and I called the school. The secretary answered. I explained the situation and she asked me for the number on the invitation. It was the same number the school had, so she did a little digging, which was very impressive, as I'm sure she had other things to do.
She called me back about 2 minutes later, telling me she got ahold of the mother. Hazel's mom didn't know why her phone wasn't working. The school secretary gave me a different number to call.
When I called, a friendly voice answered the phone. Hazel's mom at last! She had just discovered this: after she gave the phone to the baby, the baby put it in airplane mode, rendering it useless!! 😂 I have to admit that my phone has been inadvertently been put in airplane mode before as well. We had a lovely conversation. Needless to say, the party is on!!
But me. I feel lower than dirt having assumed the worst possible scenario. Shame on me. Thank you to everyone who commented: @impunity, @bluerthangreen, @sawi, @kiwisteem, @tspink, @cygon, @adayat523, and @hhayweaver. Many of your comments only show me that I need to change my way of thinking. You had the same information as I did. 😊
Thanks for reading!
Love, snowpea ❤
Images from Pixabay
Isn't that interesting that i was assuming the worst as well!
Gosh I am so happy for you both
It was interesting, about half of the comments saw things as I did, and the other half were in the "you're over thinking" camp. 😅
What do you suppose decides the way we see saw it?
Previous experience?
If it is previous experience, it seems we could create similar experiences out of nothing!
Do not be too hard on yourself. ;-) Being a parent myself, I always assume the worst until it is proven otherwise. You can never tell these days what is going to happen from one minute to the next as far as school is concerned. It is always better to play it safe and do some detective work just to be sure. Checking in with the school was a good call, and the result is a happy one.
Have a great evening.
I agree, don't be too hard on yourself. (I can relate, as I usually respond to myself the same way.) We all make mistakes. The beautiful thing is when we learn from them, which you have done. Deep breaths, gentle self-talk, then move on... This is what I try to do. ;) I'm glad it all worked out.
I'm so happy for and your daughter! It is so easy to jump to conclusion when your kids are involved. I think you made the right decision to call the school because, ultimately, it worked for the good!
Thank you @freedomtowrite! Yay for happy endings!! :D
I just read the first post and had to come here to see he follow up. I’m glad it was just a misunderstanding rather than a bullying issue!!
@keciah, thanks for reading!! It surely was a great relief to discover the truth! 😃
I'm glad everything worked out! I guess anything being a threat to our kids can put us in flight or flight mode ;).
Fight or flight, yes that's exactly what happened. 😂
It's ok, you're a good mama bear!
Shame I can just imagine how you must of felt and I'm glad that it worked out in the end.
So glad everything turned out ok... I read about this yesterday and really felt for you. Relieved everything is fine!
I'm so happy for and your daughter! It is so easy to jump to conclusion when your kids are involved. I think you made the right decision to call the school because, ultimately, it worked for the good!
Oh I am so happy for you and your daughter!! I thought of you both this weekend when we attended a party. I wondered how it all turned out (I don't do much on Steemit during the weekend so that's why I'm so late to your post) and had prayed for the best for you both.
Thank you for your prayers, and for checking back in! Yes, I'm sooo relieved things worked out. She had a great time at the party too! :)