The sacred wisdom of children: what do they have to teach us?
I have been a parent for 3 years and am constantly amazed at how much children have to offer us when we choose to listen. Keep reading and you will see what I am talking about.
How can children teach us anything at all?
With no ego or collection of life experiences to influence their every thought they are more able to connect with their body & mind in a way most of us adults have long forgotten.
Before we impose any sense of what is unsafe or wrong they act without thought of consequence, dominated exclusively by their desires. It may not always be the correct choice when it comes to keeping them safe but we always have something to learn from their choices regardless.
Intuition
An important word which keeps coming up is intuition. Kids are born with a connection to that spiritual inner compass we adults must work at reconnecting with.
It keeps them safe and it keeps them healthy, but the way they grow up will always be a reflection of what they see & experience so in time they will inevitably become just like us.
Savings account for their future
Before I continue I would like to extend a loving thanks to my three year old son Esteban & one year old daughter Luna who have both been such wonderful teachers. As a gift back to them I will start a Steemit account in their name and move the rewards from this post into that account & will continue to do the same for every post which is inspired by their wisdom.
By the time they are old enough to know what to do with it Steem will be well over $100 and will represent a tidy sum and perfect entry point to the wonderful world of crypto.
So... what have my kids taught me?
It is my intention to embellish on some of the subjects listed below in later posts.
Polyphasic sleep patterns
They sleep when they feel tired which is 2 or 3 times a day for shorter periods. By the age of three they tend to replicate our monophasic sleep pattern, but is this the optimum way to sleep? I've done a fair bit of research on this subject and can say with certainty that polyphasic rewards us more energy than monophasic.
No pillows
It is thought that the size of a baby's head proportionate to it's body means that they don't need pillows. Yet even at the age of three when their dimensions are much more similar to adults they still instinctively sleep without one. My investigation of this subject has just begun but I am already convinced we are getting something very wrong in the way we sleep. Even beds have a big question mark over them now for there is a growing movement of people who no longer sleep in them and I am looking forward to telling you why.
Vegan diet
The first time Esteban & Luna tried meat they spat it out. They instinctively didn't like the way it felt in their mouths. Perhaps other parents can recall this moment? Everyone knows babies eat a vegan diet, yet as they grow older they want to eat more and more like us. But are we teaching them the right lessons? As a (mostly) vegan I think you can guess what I am going to tell you here, but it may not be what you expect. Notice that I am not labelling myself as a vegan.
Eating & not eating
There is a disconnection from the three meal a day regime for children, especially babies who cry regularly throughout the day to let their mothers know they are hungry. Further to this there are times when (after the age of one) they decide they are not hungry. As parents we tend to worry and do our best to get food down them... often leading us to give them the wrong kind of food. Could it be that we are denying them their instinctive desire to fast? We can be in no doubt that there are multiple benefits to fasting.
Involuntary dancing & singing
Without the involvement of the ego, dancing and singing simply happens when there is music. It is such a pleasure to see this involuntary movement of the body from a very young age. All parents will know what I am talking about. Even at three Esteban still seems to have no control when he hears a song he likes. Dancing and singing is simply a side effect of the music. So, what has happened to us adults? Why don't we FEEL the music and let it flow through our body as they do? Why do we care so much about the way we look & sound and what other people are thinking?
Never give up till you get what you want!
Yes it's annoying as a parent when all you want is some peace and quiet, but kids remind us clearly of the passion with which they desire things. This passion is usually so intense they are prepared to scream for it till they are coughing and at the point of vomiting. On a few occasions I've seen Esteban take it beyond this point after which there is little else we can do but give in to his desire.
Learn two languages with ease
Esteban is not even conscious of it yet he is learning two languages at the same time. Sabrina always speaks to him in French, I speak to him in English and he always responds in the corresponding language. In many ways his French vocabulary is already better than mine despite my years of trying to remember the words. Could it be that the most effective kind of learning doesn't happen in a classroom and there is no 'trying' required?
Forgiveness
Many times I have seen Esteban angry with his mother for being the imposer of rules he doesn't like. Yet no matter how much he screams and shouts there is always a clear sense of forgiveness when he is calm again, which may be nothing more than a few moments later. Kids don't carry the past into their present as much as we do unless they are in some way traumatised by what is happening.
Energy not words
I have seen the way in which they respond more to our energy than our words and they are very good at reading people, often deciding (for reasons unknown to us) they don't want to spend time with particular people. What can they teach us about the way in which we interact with people? Are we perhaps putting too much attention on the words rather than on the energy of a person?
Final Thoughts
This list will never stop growing as long as I stay connected with my children.
I invite all parents to add to the list in the comments below & look forward to expanding on a few of these lessons. Particularly the pillow & bed story which I am currently investigating.
Our love to you all from France!
Who is @samstonehill?
He is travelling the world with his partner & two children and with no bank account he has been living on STEEM & crypto for over a year.
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Another great story that deserves to be read calmly and away from stress... thank you, @samstonehill!
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Hi @amico
Sorry I missed your words here a week ago! Very much appreciate you taking the time to read these. I produced part 2 a few hours ago ;)
It's taken me longer to learn some of these lessons too, I've been a parent for a bit longer. I in the last year got rid of the kids beds and moved to floor mats. Casper makes an awesome two inch foam that is comfortable enough for me even, the few times I've curled up to comfort one of them to sleep. I never thought about the meat before though but you're absolutely right. I've recently moved to a higher percentage vegan diet made a little easier by Hungry Root delivery service and it hasn't been too bad, I thought I'd get more resistance but luckily everyone loves nuts and so it turns out they kinda love being able to eat the crunchy snack at any meal if they want. I also stopped forcing eating or stopping eating outside mealtime. My rule is eat what I make or find yourself something later as long as I don't have to cook, I keep enough ready to eat stuff around that they're allowed to help themselves to and I don't care now because even if they skip every meal their snacking on fruit, veggies , nuts or nut butter. It's not a bad diet and I don't have to be the bad guy. I save my one forced eating as eat something dark green if you want dessert. Don't tell them the brownies are made from black beans ;-)
Excellent to learn your many tricks here. Thank you for this. In truth we are not vegans at all but do eat a high percentage of raw fruit & veg. Esteban has eaten raw broccoli for as long as I can remember which is so great. We have a hard time getting him to eat other veg at the moment though and have tried the dessert reward system but for now it doesn't seem to work.
One fruit smoothie every day has been a consistent winner with the kids. And we are mixing small quantities of spirulina and moringa into these now. We just have to be careful we don't over do the superfood supplements otherwise they don't drink it at all.
I like the sound of the two inch foam. Floor sleeping is coming soon... though Sabrina doesn't seem to happy about this and most likely won't be joining me!
My son's head was not proportionate to his body so he did need a pillow for his neck. As for a bed he and I can both sleep anywhere.
Interesting to learn about your son needing a pillow. I wonder how common this is?
And amazing to learn you are able to sleep anywhere! So much better for your spine. How did you achieve that? Most people are addicted to their beds.
He had hydrocephalus when he was small. The odds are about 1 in 10. He wore a men's medium motorcycle helmet at the age of 8 and his body will eventually catch up with his head. As for me, I've always slept in weird places and positions. I was so tired one time that I slept standing up leaning against a door frame.
This maybeee a wild card controversial comment, but before we do away with beds and pillows, maybe we should take a closer double-take-look at children, who in their sacred wisdom do not use caffeine, tobacco, alcohol or weed............................... just sayin.
I have considered this at length and concluded that due to the relaxed nature of a child's life they don't feel the need for these add-ons as we do. Us adults must earn money, putting us in situations which perhaps we would rather not be in. What I have found is that jobs get done with more of a smile when the add-ons are in place and an overall vibration of joy is maintained, even when we are doing stuff we would rather not do.
That being said I am very aware of how habit forming these add-ons are and now that I find myself in a more relaxed position financially speaking the habits are being addressed.
Thank you for your wisdom @sebcam :)
Just an idea, "putting it out there" ;) ....along with this in-depth look at REM sleep quality...
Kudos to you for allowing your children to learn multiple languages at home. My granddaughter is totally bilingual and is learning her third language at the ripe old age of 5. Her mother speaks Spanish to her and her father speaks English. Now we are speaking French to her as well. (In Canada we have two official languages, French and English). I think it is wonderful that you are staring a Steemit account for them as well. They aren't to young to benefit.
Excellent to hear this! Taking on the 3rd language at 5! Brilliant. Seem like the best time to get it done in life. Learning languages becomes much more of a mission in later life!
The Steemit account for them has been on my mind for some time now & feel sure whatever I put in there now will be a decent amount in ten years :)
The world tells us that we have to teach the children, but the universe tells us the children have to teach us. I am rich because of my children, but my is the wrong word.
Beautifully put brother. The words of Kahlil Gibran spring to mind: "Your children are not your children"
The word 'my' is not appropriate yet used all the time without thought when referring to kids. I catch myself doing it all the time, yet it feels so evident to me now these two souls chose to be with us... for a reason. And in no way do they belong to me.
Excellent! Glad I found the time to read this whole post. Great idea to create Steemit accounts for them, and contribute to an ongoing fund when they provide inspiration to you. But how about extending this further, and perhaps posting about some milestones in their lives that THEY can then continue writing about (like"writing prompts") once they are old enough to articulate and reflect on these events. In this way you create a "timeless interactivity" which allows THEM to also contribute something to the whole process. This would also give them some initial posting ideas as they get up to speed with Steemit into the futrue. Just an idea...
Love your idea. Just wish Steemit had more to offer in the way of archiving our posts. The 'playlist' system YouTube uses would be perfect. Hoping Steemit has this to come yet...
The idea of Steem savings accounts for our kids definitely has legs though. So much better than the kind of investments our parents were making for us.
Yes. I guess for now it a simple PUNY text file, and/or perhaps some screen shots archived in a dedicated file. Another thing you maight do is start up a "Steemit homeschooling fund", where for the next few years you build up a few 100 SBD to then use as "incentive " rewards for the kids to write serious posts on various topics (relative to their ages) This would be another way to get them up--to-speed with how Steemit can enhance their lives from the start ofthe education. Just another idea.
Wish I could resteem this 50,000 times.
Thank you brother. It is always such a pleasure to see your words under my work.
I woke up with a bunch more lessons today. When we really start to evaluate this subject it's crazy to see how much wisdom they are offering us.
the shift from thinking we are here to shape our kids.... to realizing that our kids are here to shift us.... thats an essential shift in my eyes. thanks again for another insightful post. nice to see all the family in loving action!
Hey brother! Am celebrating one year living on Steem today. Looking forward to getting started on @steemholdays with you. We are coming up with some nice ideas for @steemshop which I think will work well for us too...
https://steemit.com/story/@samstonehill/celebrating-one-year-of-living-on-steem-steemit
stay young
stay brave
that's what my kids taught me hehehehe..
good post
Great words! Thanks. Have just posted part 2 of this series.