This kid is so defiant, what else can i do?

As parents, we sincerely, always want our kids to be the best, well behaved well mannered, read their books when they should, sleep and follow those exact layed down rules.

But has it occurred to us, or have we ever thought it out on our own to see or know why that kid is so defiant, why he seem never to listen, why he always has a mind of his own??

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Yes, as parents and tutors it quite exhausting to have your child defy your instructions all the time, and always have one or more things to say in defence.

Also as parents we tend to have the similar habit of taming children, more like its some kind of fashion, especially when we have those very forward kids.

I believe for majority of parents this is just as a result of insecurity, and fear of the future, we scold and tame our kids sometimes not because of the actual offence of that moment, but we fear what might happen if that child grows up with that habit, so we endeavor to scold, talk or even punish them out of the habit, i have heard most parents say, "this is just how it starts, they will get worse if you do not tell them who is incharge" as if the child has the intentions of growing up with the wrong acts, or ruling over them.

Do you know that getting more strict, more angry, placing higher punishments, really wouldn't make things right?? For a kid who has this inbuilt defiant attitude, this actions only makes him, familiar with the routine and punishment, and feel that's all it could be.

Do not quote me wrong, scolding can actually, get the child to behave properly at home, but believe me when i say it can only render a temporary change, have wondered why that child is so well behaved at home, and it turns out to be a different case, when he is out of site of his parents??

Now if all this is not the solution then what works?? it is ok mum, calm down, take a step back and try something new.

To understand your child, it is better to be the page with him, when scolding becomes order of every misdeed, then the aim for the kid is usully lost at the end of the day, the first thing that happens is the kid drifts away from us gradually, they see us an opponent, sometimes an enemy, because they feel,"why am I always the wrong one" why do I get scolded all the time. Even us as parents we tend to loose track along the line, and we forget why we are doing what we do, and we turn out to be against them without realising it.

As parents it is important to always remember that, that the relationship, between you and your child, is more important than that flaw you have chosen to dwell on, and those rules that are been broken.

Do you know that is all you dwell on and worry about is your child's flaw, then you will get to notice them even more??

If you think your child disobeys you, or he lazy to do things, therefore when you ask him to it, it eventually goes undone, why not do it with him, chat and have fun while you get it done .

Do you know that one the following could actually be the reason why the kid is defiant?, he lacks love, he wants attention, they need someone to talk to, they lack confidence due to excess words of discouragemant, thrown at them, without you realizing, all they might just need is a little conversation to encourage them, believe me that kid wishes to be as compliant and you want him to, just have that conversation.

By the way do you know that disobedience has its own advantages, and been that super obedient kid has it's own set backs too?? well we will discuss more on that some other time.