When I started explaining everything to my son - I was resistant at first - because there was soooo much explaining to do. At the same time it was quite a nice exercise because I started to realise how many things I couldn't explain - and how many things I was taking for granted. It has been a lot of work, and still is - but after a few years it really sure does pay off in so many ways. Sometimes I get asked 'woaw, he just listened to you and changed his behaviour?! How do you do that?' And it's because of all the explaining, of having established that trust that I won't ask anything unreasonable of him, that there is no urge to rebel or throw a tantrum.
Thank you very much for sharing, one resteem on the way!

You might like this video, it's an interview with Jean Liedloff, author of the Continuum Concept. She lived for several years with a native tribe in Venezuela and wrote a book on her observations - as she was astounded by the level of harmony and cooperation between adults and children. She mentions many of the points you covered in this post: