Pick Your Battles A Parenting Strategy

This sweet looking child is my daughter Katalina. Now don’t let that sweet little smile fool you. She has taught me a very important parenting strategy… PICK YOUR BATTLES. You see my daughter is so very spirited and at times just plain stubborn. She has been blessed in that she was born this way, in fact she was like this before she even came into the world. She wouldn’t let the Doctor see what sex she was, she was almost two weeks late and when I was eventually rushed in for an emergency C-section, she turned herself away as the Doctor was trying to grab her to lift her out haha. My husband and I always laugh about this story and had I known what this was moving towards I would have prepared myself better.

We discovered early on that to fight every battle with her would be fruitless. We would just end up more discouraged, upset, exhausted and might even have ended up breaking her spirit. Shame, I’ll never forget last year when her teacher pulled me aside and asked me if there had been any changes at home. I looked at her and replied that there hadn’t been and asked why? To which she replied that Katalina has been very emotional lately and she was just concerned. To which I replied “Oh, she’s probably gotten used to you.” Shame, the teacher looked very surprised by this. You see my daughter knows how. She knows that first comes the charm and then comes the “How far can I push this?”

Ok, so back to the point. Why is this concept of Picking your Battles so important? To put it simply you just can’t win at everything hahaha. As parents we would like to think that we can but we just can’t. Having said that, you could probably also try but I believe that eventually you will lose the war as you become more and more desperate to win them all. Okay, so now the important bit. How do you decide which battles? Well, some are vital to raising a healthy and happy child. These are the ones you need to focus on and your own personal parenting objectives should be your guide.

Strategy

Every General knows that there is more than one strategy available to him to win the battle. Decide on the outcome and look at what needs to be done to get there. This is where knowing your child’s personality well works in your favor. My daughter prefers to be the leader and needs to feel that she was the one that came up with the idea. Enter….

Manipulation

How can a parent use such a word? Simple. We all do it in one way or another! Whether it’s bribery, punishment or just plain begging. I’m a firm believer in cause and effect and use it often with both my children. I always try and make them see that for every choice they make there are several outcomes. Then I put it to them as which outcome would you prefer?

The Battlefield

This is the stage where the “What I want, you do” becomes a reality. It’s important to be firm and keep calm. The enemy will be watching and waiting to see what your first move is. Do not allow your emotions to take control, this will be perceived as a weakness in your resolve and an opportunity for them to turn the tables of manipulation back on you. If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed by your emotions, retreat immediately, so that you can live to fight another day.

Victory/Defeat

As Generals/parents we win some and we lose some. If you’re successful, celebrate it but don’t become flippant. What works today may not work tomorrow. Should you fail, adapt your strategy and fight another day. The trick is to keep fighting the right battles and you will figure it out in the end.

Just remember, as long as your child is happy and secure you must believe that, no matter what your method, you are doing the best that you know how to do. Parenting is the toughest job in the world and in my opinion the most rewarding.

Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
All these photos were taken by me 😊, with my Samsung S8

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