Authoritative Parenting In Our Homes

Something I learned from the book, The Collapse of Parenting by Dr. Leonard Sax: When appropriate, command. Don’t ask. Avoid the question mark. Instead of “Do you think maybe it’s time to leave the playground?” say “It’s time to go home.” Instead of “Won’t you just try a bit of this carrot?” say “Eat your carrot.” The question undermines authority.

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Therefore, we need to use commands, not questions, when we tell the kids especially for the mothers out there to do something. With older kids, explanations become more appropriate, but with younger children, we are not supposed to make it a habit of negotiating or bargaining with them to get them to obey. This makes them think they have the option not to.

I can be guilty of this at times, So it’s a good lesson and reminder for me, too. And it’s a principle that applies to every area — whether it’s their eating, their habits such as taking their vitamins (even if they aren’t yummy) or drinking their milk, sleeping at the right time, cleaning up after themselves and fulfilling their other responsibilities, or their behavior and attitudes.

Dr. Leonard Sax goes on to make an interesting correlation...”I have found that the parents most horrified by the suggestion (of commanding their children) are also most likely to be medicating their children (for behavioral problems). Kids need parental authority in their world.”

He is coming from the perspective of someone who sees patients and parents all the time in the US, but I think that we can be headed in the same direction in the Philippines if we don’t practice authoritative parenting in our homes.

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Created by fildunsky