RE: A knock on the door
Thank you for responding to my post, @blue1950. No children and careers don’t mix, but it is a matter of prioritizing and doing what is best for the child. First of all. You set aside money when you are young, before you meet the one to marry, so at least one of you can stay home when the kid is born. It must become as natural to save money for being home with the kids as saving for retirement is now. It is natural for the woman to stay home. She is the one with the milk taps.
You have the children when you are young and then have the career later. If parents are working long hours, then they prioritize money before the children. If they are in need of a lot of money when the children are young, they should scale down their life instead. The child does not mind how big the house is or what kind of car you drive, or the clothes you ware. What matters most for small children is that the parents are there.
Secondly. It’s not what the mom wants that matter. It’s what is best for the children that matter. The child is naturally very connected to the mother. I’m sorry to have to point this out women, but you can’t have both. You can’t be a good mother and have a career at the same time. You can’t have a carrier and stay home with the kids. I’m sorry. The time you spend at work, is time can’t spend with the kids. Women can’t be in two places at the same time. If careers are so important, then have them after the kids are grown.
If you meet late in life and have children, as my wife and I did, then you make sacrifices. You do what it takes to be with the children. We did not set aside money, when we were young, to be home with the children. We did not know the thigs we know now. We had some money saved up, but not enough, not by a long shot, so we made sacrifices to save up some money. My wife gave up her carrier to be with the children. She wants to go back to work, but she knows she can’t do both. It is one or the other. When the smallest one becomes four years or so, she will return to the work force, but then, I’ll stay home with the children.
We don’t have a lot of money. We can’t buy luxury things or go on vacations. Maybe in two or three years we have enough money to go to Legoland in Denmark – maybe. We don’t drive a fancy car or live in a big house and the redecoration and house fixing, has been put on hold. However, we are debt free and that helps a lot. We do not owe money to anyone.
Oh, we are not rich, but we are there for the children, and I would not trade it for anything.
