Your thoughts Can Help Save My Daughter
I guess some of you guys here are already a parents since that I raise my 3 kids alone I find it very difficult to adjust their changes as they growing.
Specially to my 16 years old daughter that showing already too many changes with her attitude.I have never expect that her sweet childhood change her into a hard headed teen age girl.
She was not like not before, Im used to her angelic sweet attitude but lately everything has changed.She was turning to be black ship hard headed young woman.She doesnt listen to me at all.
We were bestfriends as well but now she hides a lot to me that hurts me so bad.All I have thought that she was looking after all of my hardworks and effort of raising them alone.That Im hoping that because shes now getting old she can help me some things to make a little better to me.
I was expecting that she was at school and she was focused with her studies because I have a big dream for her to finish her studies and to have a better life unlike me in future.
I can motivate other people that make them successful but why cant my old child? I am always her mentor and motivator.She always got high grades at school and become an honor student.
My motivation and my full support to her mades her become a beauty queen and a model.She has amazing talent and ability regarding computer works such as graphic designing and visual artist at her young age of 16.
I dont want her that shes making her life starting misserable.Lately I figure out that she has issues at school and she comes home late from school.She arrives home usually always 11 pm in the evening that makes me worries a lot.I have keep on telling her many times not to do it again but still it happends again and again.
And when I am sleep she was gone,when I wake up she not beside me because she sleeps beside me.I have thought that she was maybe downstairs or maybe did buy something at sari sari store. She took for granted that Im still sleep because I sleep late because of my online job that I sleep late usually at 2 to 3am in the morning so I wake up 10 am because my little kids wakes up late as well .
I just have figured out that she was going to her boufriend house every 7 to 10 am in the morning because her school class starts at 1pm.
And the reason also that she comes home late every 11pm in the evening because she was at her boyfriends house again.
I was so mad when I knew it,I did forcely ask het to open her facebook messenger so that I will know everything her activities.
And it makes me more hurt so bad that she and her boyfriend are doing unusual things.
Seems my world is falling down and apart.I do not know what to do.I talk to her sincerely why did she do that and what does she wants in her life.She said she wants to continue her studies.
I have lost all of my trust in her because she keeps on lying to me over and over again.She always takes me for granted that she know Im soft to her.
I do not know what to do,I really need your thoughts or advices everyone.
Please help me save my daughter...
sincerely,
Antonette
Holy smokes, your daughter is hot! No wonder her horny boyfriend can't keep his dirty hands to himself.
If I were you I'd pay or bribe the local neighborhood bums or istambays to rough up and kick your daughter's boyfriend in the balls hard just enough so you won't have the fear of your daughter getting pregnant by him. The istambays will gladly do it cheap to have some money to spend for a drinking session (inuman).
Oh, please do not mind my stupid suggestion. Just a joke, friend, to make you smile. I wish your daughter's father was around to talk some sense into her and scold her horny boyfriend.
If you taught her well, trust her. Be there for her. You will have to change if you want to help save your daughter. I am speaking as a father of a beauty queen who had great grades and did similar things. The hormones are raging, let her work through it. It is her life now and mostly out of your control. Let her live it.
I think I can absorb this sir and keeping my fingers crossed for her..I think this can also be a better idea..thank u
I am so so so unwell, else i would have given you advice. Talk to her lovingly but you have to talk to her. Its not out of your hands. At 16, i was still getting a spanking. Talk to some elderly people she respects to talk to her. Then talk to the boy and perhaps his family and set boundaries. A 16 year old girl shouldn't be having boyfriends or be afraid to have one but that's the Philippines for you. 16 is still a kid in the Philippines, so be mother and let her be kid. Even the Bible says; "don't spare the rod and the rod can take different forms depending on the child", so it can be loving discipline and there are times for firm boundaries. And you are single mum, let that motivate you, it doesn't have to be a negative, it can be testimonial too. Sometimes, you have to be drastic too, so if it means talking to the boys parents, let it be. I understand, it is a different ball game here but play your role. Then don't forget prayers. Pray to Jehovah in Jesus' name. If you need people to talk to on this, look for a kingdom hall and you will find peeps there to give you more solid advice. I am so so so un-well in every way, so i will just go back to speechlessness. Life is one tough thing!
Thanks a lot @surpassingoogle for this heartly advice thats what I also thought also to talk to the guy and his parents.I already talk to my daughter deeply that her life will be misserable if she wont focus with her studies alone and with her future.There is a right time to have a boyfriend when she reach at her right age.I just want the best for her and that is my only vission to give them a good life.I hope and pray that she will keep my words in her heart that she will realize that everything that I do was for her .
I doubt if this is the right advice. You have to understand environments too and no its not her life. There is still time to curb things
Any time is the right time for adult guidance. Each situation is different as are roles each family member plays. Sorry if I stepped into your role as the parental figure.
i didn't mean it like that. How i meant it is more related to how things are here in PH. A sixteen year old here is very very much a kid. Plus, the environment here isn't one that has many mirrors in it. If one would falter, no one will put you in the right directions.
I think both @Surpassinggoogle and @Celsius100 have good points. Even if we taught them well the environment around can undo them or make changes. I am also a single mom but luckily only one and a daughter. Too. We don't want our daughters to make the same mistake as we did (but they are never mistakes because we love them just wrong timing). We just need to keep talking and reminding them.Prayers really helps. If she is still a minor like I advised @antonett, talk to the boy and his parents. It will be a shame if her future gets ruined. Shildren are the future so we must try to place them on the right track. It may be hard but we have to try. Now my daughter is married and working in the US. I am also expecting my first grandchild early next year. MY hard work, headaches, stress and worries paid off.
You have actually outlined nice advice here. A person once said that our children and other people come 3rd in our lives. God is first and the spouse second. When a girl or boy meets somebody who pronounces love. All the rest go to oblivion. Prayer is the only salvation to our children
your advice maam Daisy and admire all of your worthy hardworks and effort to your child that she listens to you and now that she has a good life at U.S
I kinda agree with environment and culture. It's different here in the Philippines, how it was from other countries. That's why it is too difficult for @antonette because it doesn't use to be like that here in the Philippines, and expectation is different from other countries. It's like parenting here is different, but there are also great points that can be learned from people of differenr countries.
so hard to raise a child but be patient
yes it is sis I need more long patience tlga
Changes happen and she needs guidance. She will change. Use a friend to guide her
Laki na pala ng paganay mo
yes 16 yrs old na boss gp
Tsk. Kids. Well, if talking to your daughter is not enough... Will, pray for her na lang...
She is so beautiful. 😊 always guide her by the word of God. 😇
Ephesians 6:1-3
Maybe you need to talk to her one on one, heart to heart..im not yet a father, but i can feel what you felt. Its really hard to be in this situation.
Being a single parent is hard, I know. There's all kinds of peer pressure and hopefully she will remember the difference between right and wrong.
Sis @antonette teens naturally seek more independence as they get older, and mild disrespect is one way that independence gets expressed. Life is stressful at times. As a parent, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to show your kids how you manage your behavior when you’re upset. Kids watch us for a living even if they don’t seem like they care what you do.Easier said than done, but it's our responsibility as a parent to show our best to them the way it should be done. Hugs!