1. Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars and why?

You would slap me? Where are you going to slap me? Are you like a professional slapper, or something? Is it going to hurt?

For a hundred bucks, my face is your canvas. Make impression. Try not to break my beak.

2. What time do you normally go to bed and why?

When I get so sleepy that I can't remember the last thing I read, it is time to call it a day. For me that's usually after midnight. Sometimes as late as 1 or 2am, because I am a night owl. I think about weird stuff at night. And often times I believe I am brilliant philosopher and flesh out deranged plans for world piece, or a total world reset plan.

Then I wake up in the late morning like I have the worst hangover, and wonder what unicorn possessed my brain last night to write a proposal for an invention to make cotton candy hair.

3. Favorite day of the week and why?

Fridays! Once work ends, the rest of the day is the part of the week I have been the most psyched about all week. If I am working on a Friday, I usually spend my day wrapping up a big project to ship out in the mail before the day is done. I'll wrap in ribbons and stickers just to make it extra special. Friday is the day to show off what you've got, and give it your best, because the last thing I want to have happen is a call from the boss saying they found a mistake in my work while I'm out on the town enjoying myself. No chance in hell I'm going to leave work without a question in my mind that I totally slam-dunked it, and leave feeling great, with a true sense of accomplishment.

4. What board game do you hate the most and why?

Monopoly. You can't win. The only way to technically win, is for the other players to lose. Once all the properties are bought up, it is all up to the dice to decide your fate. It is really sad, that every ounce of real-estate in the game eventually becomes rental property. Wham! $360 to share a duplex for the night at Marvin Gardens. Why can't I pitch a tent outside of Mediterranean Avenue for a few rounds, and save up for a house of my own to get out of this horrible death spiral they call a game? This torturous game sometimes lasts more than 24 hours, spanning multiple days. Then you realize, it wasn't just a game. It is reality!

5. If you had the world's attention for 30 seconds, what would you say?

Get woke! Eat red pills. She doesn't love you. There is no lucky break to wait for. Change your attitude. Be honest in your work. Keep your radical opinions to yourself when serving others. Save more, and spend less. Sex is not a right, is it privilege. Parents who have children because they want to feel loved should not have children, they should get a cat or dog. There are so many children in the world in need of real role models to teach them how to live a better life, and some of these children have been living on social security for too long. Be a light in someone's life, and encourage others to feel good about making the right choices.