Dear Diary: Lazy Wednesday For Me Today

My day had started sleeping so late and waking up late in this morning. I haven't had my breakfast yet but I might go and use the bathroom first before anything else. It seems to be a good day today with the sun shining and I hope again that it would not rain because we have a lot of it this past few days.

It is hard in my position/situation to do anything else as my health issues just made my body useless in doing anything else than going online and blog away, blog anything that goes into mind and often my blog is just composting with the same subjects over and over and it is just good that my readers if there ever was are still enduring me.

I still thank God for this day and I am still cannot believe that I lasted to live until today while other patients just goes away left and right. I do not know if this is a blessing or a curse but I am not really enjoying my life obviously. I am just in a survival mode I realized because from breathing to eating it is just a chore for me to do.

It is crazy for me in wanting to live more, maybe I am just afraid to die because I am trying all my best just to lift myself up from all these health issues and inconveniences and that really resulted in probably adding days to my life. Of course for me it is God that add years to anyone's life but any additional day for me is just another day of struggle and it is a mix of physical misery and mental anguish.