Dear Diary: I Am Forced To Work Hard Just For My Future Medical Needs

I remember getting sleepy last night and I slept and I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to stay around because I could not sleep anymore so I just decided to open up the chat and chat there until my parents wakes up to prepare us in getting to my dialysis.

Come dialysis I wasn't able to sleep because of course the machine are blaring with its noise plus the endless chatter of the happy nurses and the constant blood pressure-taking will not really make you sleep. I also have to eat about one hour after I had been hooked up and with that I have to drink my energy drink which i do not know if it does help about my BP issue at dialysis.

Now I might be just lacking in some sleep because I often feel good after a nice relatively long rest. The problem was that I live in an environment that is noisy because we live beside the road. So my sleep is often just disrupted and add to that my current health condition and it really adds all up. I am just basically overworked, overthinking, and underslept sometimes.

I am enjoying what I am doing online anyway so it is okay mentally but for my body it just really can't be under stress like this every passing day that is why I am getting unusual heaviness with my body like today considering that I am as light as a feather already with my current body form and mass.

I hope that my body won't give way before I am able to lift it up from these medical mess. But who am I that would question God if he wanted to take me away already. So it is still okay for me even if I left my work here on earth unfinished at least I had seen the beauty of this world, I had met my family, my friends online and at school and other people and also experienced on how was it to live even with health conditions.