None dare call it Paleo!

Of the three best ways
to get flamed on the internet*,
calling your diet "paleo"
is the fourth.

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"There are rules, and you are not following them!", is exactly what I will not be saying to you.

I don't care if you have a little bit of peanut butter or if you eat your mom's grilled cheese sandwich. I really don't. You can even use New World peppers for spices!

What I care about is your health.

Have you changed from eating McDonalds every day to about 80% paleo? Great!. Full Stop. Absolutely zero silently implied condemnation.

That's doing so well in today's world that I will not hesitate to congratulate you wholeheartedly. Only 50%? Same thing. If all you have done is switch from Eggbeaters to Eggs, congratulations! What with the millions of dollars spent every day to make you eat fake food, you are a hero!

Now, of course, I can't stop other folks from PaleoSplaining your incorrect philosophical stance to you until your ears bleed and you want to make a lovely wood-fired roasted paleo dinner out of their tiny withered heart. No one can stop that. It's the nature of the internet, even if it's in real life. Nothing you do will ever be pure enough.

If your only mistake is that your grass fed, pastured Bison was cooked on a 100 year old cast iron grill that had once been seasoned with flax seed oil instead of animal fat, that's the mistake that will mean that your whole diet is a farce and you don't know anything about paleo. How can you even leave the house like that?

I shave my head, and I have had a guy in a coffee shop explain to me that I need to use a straight razor or I am not paleo. Apparently my 20 year old razor with the interchangeable plastic blades leak PBAs all over my head and I don't know anything about Paleo and I should just crawl away and die. (Drinks bulletproof coffee at me that he brought from home because the coffee shop beans are air roasted in stainless steel instead of tumble roasted in bronze)... (Gets some in his beard and I don't say anything)

I'm tired of it. Like others have recently posted on Steemit, paleo is a wide road that leads away from fake food, that's all. You're doing just fine, take another step every time you feel up to it. Push yourself, but don't let anyone push you. Fake superiority is just as dangerous as fake food.

Take a deep breath.

Let it out.

Have fun.

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(*1. Don't be "woke" enough, 2. Dislike cats, 3. Be mathematically correct about any socioeconomic issue)

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Please try my Future History stories - Enmity

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