Your grouchy cactus monster runs around freely at the house? How did you decide you wanted a pet hedgy anyway?
Haven't heard much of pet hedgehogs around here. Only that people sometimes feed the wild ones with some milk.
sends a scruffy looking pigeon with the bribe for more laughs
Freely around the house? What do you think I am, some sort of masochistic troglodyte? That would be very similar to a lovecraftian nightmare, imagine stepping on lego's, except that they pierce your foot and cause hives. That's what would happen if we let her run wild, on the account of her being a monster.
We usually just keep her in a fish tank and then take her out and put her into a storage bin to run around/run on a wheel and play with her. And, yeah, there are a few different species of hog, I think the one in the wild is different than what we have. (She's an African Pigmy Hedgehog)
What, you think this is a motherfucking game? How am I supposed to pay my bills with imaginary fun money? You ain't getting shit until this pigeon gets his/her ass to my window.