read Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell first when I was doing my last year of highschool. At the time I had become politically active, in the form of counter-propaganda against the policies that were recently introduced by the administration.

Probably it was one of the contributors to my actions in using words and direction action in a political manner, not long after, but like a whale abusing flags here, my english teacher changed my status in this new scheme so that I was compelled to attend school during exam week, even when I had no exams.

This same teacher had prior to the direct action campaign me and a friend did in retaliation for this, one day in the library we were asked as a group which book we wanted to do for our next assignment. I jumped up and down and begged to do Nineteen Eighty Four. The teacher said straight up 'no, because you asked'. Nobody else in the class had an opinion.

Then when I didn't hand in the assignment on time, he punished me with the Administration's new weapon. It may not have been that exact assignment, but one later, I forget exactly.

This guy obviously had read the book himself, so I was absolutely flabbergasted that the one time he sees me enthusiastic to actually do an assignment, he squelched the youthful exhuberance in me towards learning and expressing my opinions in writing.

It was like saying to me "We live in the world of Nineteen Eighty Four, and your interest in understanding the mechanism of control makes you the enemy of the system".

I was pushed, overtly, I didn't just rebel for fun.

This little anecdote I posted on @brentssanders old post here: https://steemit.com/conspiracy/@brentssanders/the-origins-and-meaning-of-doublespeak-and-fake-news and then realised I should make a post about this, especially considering that I am now engaging once again in political action, involving writing, here, in my work to get voted higher on the Witness Schedule.

A vote for my witness is a vote for that weird guy in your english class who reads obscure books about things that people say is 'strange and menacing', who pierced himself and rode a skateboard, and slipped a humerous but incisive polemic into your lockers one night, that made everyone laugh, and that everyone agreed with, about how fucked up the institution was.

With the funding from witness payments, I will be doing the same for you all here, most especially the most oppressed groups, whether it be Minnows or Whales, or indeed, the community as a whole, when clearly bad mistakes I warned about are implemented and lead to a crisis.

Before I began my intensive health program a week ago after a fellow Steemian showed me Jack Kruse's blog, I would have backed down long ago and just been satisfied that the hundreds of long hours I spent developing my Witness docker image, while contending with the street life of Amsterdam, that I can at least spend 9 euros a month and get about 27 euros back in Steem power for my effort running the witness server.

Now, I am feeling mentally a lot more robust, and with the depth of the rut I had fallen into, one of my close friends was worrying to me that I was becoming bloody minded and egotistical. No, this is just me, with energy, and I am pretty sure that I know where this energy comes from now and I will make sure it keeps flowing so I can do what I know I must, without my previous fear that I would never be able to stand up and speak out about what matters, sulking to myself, bored, sleepless, without any appetite for anything.

This stuff is what makes me tick.