Surgical Blades

(398 words)

"You'll have to stay awake throughout the surgery", the chief surgeon announced to me as I lay there, motionless on the surgical table.

I had been trying to get my mind off the surgery and all the buzz about me and the beeping monitor wasn't helpful. Certainly, knowledge of the fact that I had to be awake for the entire surgery was nothing near what I would have loved to hear right now. I had looked forward to sleeping all through the surgery and waking up not to remember a thing. Afterall, I had paid for anaesthetics and oxygen. I didn't know which was more annoying, the fact that I'd witness myself being operated on which I had learnt could cause post-op trauma or the fact that I knew the ten thousand naira I paid for the anaesthetics and oxygen wouldn't be refunded. I was damn sure. This was Nigeria and corruption is everywhere. Though disgruntled, I could however not mummur a word of complain.

The doctors weren't exactly nice people I wanted to converse with. Being an addict of "Botched", I had expected surgeons who were very cordial and friendly much like Dr. Nassif and Terry who ran the show. Who am I kidding though? Those are plastic surgeons and these are lame whatever surgeons. I just really can't wait to get this surgery done and over with. This wasn't a plastic surgery afterall. I had been diagnosed with hernia last month and the surgery was to correct the defect. The sooner they got started, the sooner I'd be out of here and recuperating in my ward.

The two surgeons who were to operate on me moved closer and one picked up an injection and immense pain followed as he began to inject me severally. He said it was to numb the area. I wasn't listening though. I was contemplating slapping his bald head and bailing on the surgery. The annoying assistant surgeon kept singing "Wo" by Olamide, which was actually nauseating. Though i love the song, not only the fact that I felt it was ethical but also that I was in pain and he was dancing made me angry. Could this day get any worse? Well, next time I'll careful what you wish for because it did get worse. The light above me flickered. And you wouldn't believe what happened next.

There was a power outage!

"Welcome to Nigeria", I grunted to myself.