Don't Crush My Spirit Progress and Setbacks on the Homestead

Hello Steem friends!

I haven't posted in a while. I have been trying to learn more about a variety of social media platforms to find what feels like a good fit for us. I am not a tech-savvy person so it's been very interesting. I have mostly learned that I have a lot to learn. LOL

Our Youtube videos are gaining in popularity and I have met lots of other awesome Homestead families. I continue to struggle with older equipment, low-quality equipment or lack of equipment so I am always amazed at the kind comments from my followers. And every now and again I have to stop and take a moment to just breath......

you see I made the decision to go back to work to help speed up our progress on infrastructure. Especially our road. The winter rains turned to spring rains that seemed would never end so we waited and we waited for a dry spell to get the trucks in to start hauling the gravel. Finally, they started hauling and the original estimate tripled. After losing two months to weather we really felt the pressure to get started as there is MUCH to do before winter. We had planned to take our tiny home/cabin with us but finding someone to move it has been difficult. Expensive or they say it is not possible so we are still trying to figure out our living arrangements. Like I said so very much to do by winter.

And now not only do I feel the pressure of getting this road finished I have the added stress of my job, which is retail management. It is very demanding of my time and energy but in this area, in order to make enough money to make it reasonable for me to leave the farm, it offered the highest pay. Leaving my animals and the peaceful life of my farm to go back to work has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My animals miss me and I miss them. When my little Goaty Girls run to me and reach their little noses up for a kiss my heart aches to be home roaming the woods with them. When you are in the rat race you are so busy running on that wheel that you don't have time to think about other things you just work as hard as you can towards your next day off!! Having stepped out of that world and experienced the peace of just living makes it so hard. When you have never felt freedom you don't know what your missing. Like a young colt born on the farm, petted, loved, handled, haltered, lead, fenced, fed. It's the only life you have known but the wild colt has felt freedom and is unwilling to give it up without a fight. I feel like the wild colt every time I walk through the doors at work. I am watching that clock and waiting for the gate to open so I can run free in the fields. LOL But until I can get a bit more infrastructure in place I can't jump the fence back to freedom.... I can only gaze out over the fields and into the woods longingly.

Managing the Homestead and working full time was not possible so my husband had to take on a lot of the chores and animal care. He is not as experienced as I am but is doing a great job. I think that it has been very good for him actually. I can see him connecting with the animals more. He was so excited when he called me at work to tell me that he saw a little head peeking from under the wing of one of my broody hens. I gave the hens some guinea eggs to hatch for me and as usual, my Brahma hens did not disappoint. they are such wonderful mother hens!

Every day I get up and just keep pushing. Something deep inside of me just will NOT let this dream of a sustainable homestead go! My heart cries for it! Our time is up here on the land where we live now so our days are number and the race is WIDE OPEN to get to this land to avoid being homeless and keep this dream alive and God willing before winter!
At the moment it looks impossible but the reality is.....we HAVE to! As hard as it has been to go back to work to help push this dream forward it is worth it to avoid DEBT! Going into debt again would crush my spirit that is for sure!
Pray for us ya'll.

I am headed off to work

If you would like to visit our Youtube channel here is the link

Thank you so much for stopping by the Homestead!!

all original photos and videos were taken by me on my cheap cell phone and camera :0)