Sharing of the day : Why being jealousy is not worth your time

fidelpoet (50)in #ocd • 6 years ago

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. - William Penn

Three days back I posted a poem about jealousy. Jealousy to me is when you feel insecure and resent those who are better than you or those with potential. Its normal to be jealous at times but it must be controlled or it destroys your relationships with other good people. I agree that I have been jealous in the past and that I still feel this negative feeling both consciously and unconsciously. In this post I will be talking about the negative force called Jealousy which many embrace consciously and unconsciously but at the end kills them. I see jealous like a Devil which many try to disassociate with and the more they disassociate with it is the more it creeps back into their heads silently and unknown

Some examples of jealous feelings common to us all:

1 . Comparing ourselves with our neighbors in terms of net worth, jobs, educational status etc.

2 . Interest in friends's partner.

3 . Coveting other peoples' resources.

4 . Competing for one goal.

5 . Losing to our competition/opposition.

6 . Perceived favoritism of other people but not us, especially when coming from a high authority figure e.g Presidents, Businessmen.

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Wherever there is jealousy I am sure the relationship is not a positive one because jealous is a sign that there is mistrust and suspicion.Once there is no trust among-st lovers and or friends that means the relationship/friendship is fake. It needs those who can read body language and facial expressions quickly to read if there are signs of jealousy. But when jealousy is there most women can tell it quickly via their intuition- I just don't know why women are good at reading people instinctively.

Magnanimous people have no vanity, they have no jealousy, and they feed on the true and the solid wherever they find it. And, what is more, they find it everywhere.- Van Wyck Brooks

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.-Henry Ellis

More men die of jealousy than of cancer. - Joseph P. Kennedy

More quotes here:http://www.quotes-inspirational.com/quotes/jealousy/

For young men out there I can tell you that being jealousy that your girlfriend is talking with other guys will not solve your problem until you deal with the problem affirmatively. It kills love when you start to feel anxious and distrustful of your partner. Anxiety is usually felt when people are envious but it does nothing than to kill the good relationship quickly. In-fact I have seen that most men who feel jealous end up being played by the girl they have been overprotective for. Protecting the woman is good but overprotecting brings the neediness feelings which turn into jealousy when they are not dealt with maturely.

Overprotecting your partner from cheating might be a sign that you do not deserve each other since one sees themselves inferior and being a victim. Once a relationship has those superior/inferior feelings I have seen that the evil spirit called jealousy creeps in silently. Man-female relationships that are great are jealous-free and dominated by feelings of trust, reliance, complimenting traits and a balanced inner self among-st the partners. So what I am saying is that once you are jealousy in a relationship at times that means you have to think deeply and become mature again. True love does not come from feelings of inferiority and superiority or it is exploitative love which eventually brings jealousy.

I am the master of my emotions.I transform fear to love, anger to compassion, pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance, expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some may say ''jealousy can drive you to achieve your goals''.For instance a neighbor may use the feelings of jealous to achieve success in their financial lives. An example is when that egotistic neighbor may dedicate all his time and energies for years to be known about having the best resources above all in the community. I am not saying that having great resources is bad but having things to feel better than others is dangerous for your inner balance.A scenario like this reminds me of my School classmates(girls) who competed and would spend most of their time attracting the cool guys and or the rich working class guys in-order for them to be known at school and become popular. Yes they became popular but for the benefit of their ego insecurities and as I look back today I see how immature they acted for most even failed the final exams.Its the feelings of jealousy that usually drive people to fail from my own viewpoint.

I have seen that most times feelings of jealousy usually come between friends to destroy the bond. Friendship like love is a great fantasy everyone wants to enjoy but it is challenged by jealousy. For example its hard to believe that a friend secretly admires your lover, your friend wishes to be better than you at all areas or the most common is when you start changing your life in a new direction. Most friends are not prepared to see their pals getting a step ahead or doing the uncommon. They might have known you since you were 13 so your changes at 30 are most likely not welcome at all. It used to cut me deeply to know that my pals are planning something to outsmart me. We just have to accept it for its coomon. Whilst we are psychologically programmed to believe that friendships are perfect the truth is that they are not.It needs psychologically mature people to have a good friendship or be lovers.We should grow mentally fit and psychologically mature for us to be able to deal with the spirit called jealous.

How to deal with the feelings of jealousy in future.

Yes jealousy is common and natural but it can be dealt with at most so that it does not go high on its barometer.I may say its like a tree that needs to be pruned constantly so that it does not bring the unwanted branches to the neighbor's house.I don’ know if that is a good example but what I want to say is that you should have self control when feelings of jealousy enter you.

You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's. - Exodus 20:17

1 . Mind your own business

Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours. - Epictetus

Paul of Tarsus like the great philosopher Epictetus teaches us all to mind our own businesses.

2 . Know that love is the greatest cure to our problems.

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Love all and respect all people in life including orphans, the rich and poor. In 1 Corinthians 13 we are told that love is above all things.Love and respect your parents and all the elders for they need our care.Once we can learn to love others wholeheartedly we can deal with all the

3 . Have big dreams and compare yourself with no one but yourself only

The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare.Since jealousy comes from feeling less than another, comparisons only fan the fires. - Dorothy Corkville Briggs

Day by day I am working to reach a level where I become better than my yesterday self.Competing with yourself is a great cure to your problems than competing with other people. If you try doing it you will find out there is great therapy there. When you start to challenge yourself daily I am sure you will start to connect with your goals deeply.Life starts to be more and more interesting for you will start to see great possibilities within you. There are great rewards when you start connecting with yourself on a deeper level. I am sure its parts of the Abundance Mindset lifestyle we all try to achieve on a daily basis.

4 . Know that comparing yourself drives you away from your real passion and dreams

I may say its like when a poor-grades-student-but-good-soccer-player joins a school that values academics that they do not even have sports.If a child like that goes to a school like that from age 6 to 18 its most likely that he loses his talent/gift. He starts to judge himself according to the ways of his peers given that we learn most things via social programming without much criticism until 20. No one wants a life like that. So find the things you are most passionate about and do them your own way.

5 . Catch yourself when you are feelings jealous

If you can reach this level then I say you would have dealt with this devil. Its like when babies starts to walk. They may start failing at first, then find their mistakes and then they are ready to go. If you see yourself coveting his/her car, his/her partner etc be conscious about it and find something more resourceful to focus on. More and more joyous feelings come when you start seeing your mistakes and solving them.

6 . Be able to read jealous and egotistic people

This will make you see how it is an expense. The green-eyed monster is a loser in life.

7 . Avoid playing with negative minded people and seek mature companions.

Bad company corrupts good morals. I am sure you learnt that before 10 years old. Find mentors who are mentally mature and those who can inspire you.

8 . Stop self criticism and start appreciating your good works

According to Sasha Azevedo feelings of jealousy come from a person’s lack of self-worth, self-confidence, and self-acceptance. When one feels lack of self-worthiness its because they do not think they deserve great things in life but whilst at the same time needing those things which makes them jealousy. Most people do not feel self-worthy of the greatness they want which explains why they keep on complaining but not going forward.

9 . Get more into Self-Help stuff to keep your mindset positive

Watch inspirational movies, read great inspirational books, listen to life-changing audio-books, buy motivational programs and buy more and

Men I recommend you go to http://www.knowledgeformen.com/category/wealth/

Watch movies like The Secret and The Moses Code - Beyond The Secret

10 . Listen to music that can inspire you deeply

Most music in the world elicits feelings of hatred, jealousy and all other negative stuff. Nowadays I listen to every song carefully. There are so many songs that sound like they are pumping you up in a positive way but whilst destroying you big-time. Song lyrics get programmed in our heads every time we play a song so you have to choose what really inspires you.If you do not do that more and more negative feelings will dominate your mind.

22 days ago I wrote this article with music that inspires me : https://steemit.com/busy/@fidelpoet/22-inspirational-songs-that-will-keep-you-in-a-positive-and-happiness-state-of-mind-for-entrepreneurs-leaders-musicians-students