Here's a Christmas Mystery: Who Shit?

I know, I know... Grow up @grow-pro - don't judge me! (or totally do)😆


I've been a stay at home Dad of two kids, 2.5 & 4 - 4 years +
I care for children all day and censor my thoughts and words around my kids like any good parent does... But sometimes you've just got to talk a little shit and a little fun. No scruples, no filter - this is raw and you've been warned. I'm posting this publicly against my own better judgment and that of my better half (my wife). "Don't do it", she remarks with a laugh...


If you haven't already surmised from this explicit introduction...


DO NOT read this to your kids if they are not old enough to pay for dinner tonight...LOL

You might recall Mr. One-Toot's Introduction post - the one of him dropping some bombs on the reindeer snacks - but if you don't (or have repressed the memory), allow me to refresh:

The Elves Are Pissed & Puzzled!

This is an outrage! The break room is in an uproar and everyone is trying to figure out who has eaten the snacks and shit...again! It seems to be an ongoing problem in the workplace and the elves are fed up. That delightfully devious elf, Mr. One-Toot, has expressed his dismay (above), so the first fingers were pointed in his direction.

"This could be the work of a copyscat!" Mr. One-Toot declared as the elves stood in their best WTF stance.

Mr. One-Toot did have a point. Upon further inspection, it appeared to have been some sort of animal - not an elf! This really upset the workshop and to think we are days away from Christmas...

They decided that whatever had eaten their snacks and shit everywhere must be an animal and that animal might return if they set our more snacks. So that's what they did...

The Snack Shitter Returned!

Fuckin' Rudolph!

Everyone was up-in-arms when they identified Rudolph as the snack-time-shitter. Rudolph didn't care, he dove into the elf snacks and blasted the first few bites out to make room for more. If this isn't the most highly offensive and tasteless Christmas story you've ever read - just give me a few more minutes, I'm not finished.

Rudolph gave a whole new meaning to
"STOP. DROP. AND ROLL!"

Rudolph was escorted out after the elves acquired some proper gear

Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

To Be Continued...

This absurd post was created for absolutely no reason and may or may disturb you in some way.


Tell me all about how this post has touched you below (double entendre points like whoa!!)

I realize some of you are now searching for the unfollow button, frantically. It was fun for me✌️😎