Rewriting <The semi gods and semi devils> 大话《天龙八部》之缥缈峰传奇 | 月旦评

During the earlier Song Dynasty, under the reign of the Emperor Zhezong, in southwest China, there was a country named Dali (now Yunnan province). Dali had a lot of famous mountain ranges, and among them was one called the purely imaginary peak. One day, a Taoist called Happy Son traveled to this peak, he saw that this place was covered in mist and cloud, just like heaven, so he decided to live here, after years’ meditation, he solved the essence of Taoism and created a school of thought called Carefree Clique. Then he recruited three apprentices: Cloudy, Cliffless and River. Happy son died a couple of years later and gave the master ring to Cliffless.

Both Cloudy and River loved Cliffless, who was the only boy except their master. So they were jealous of and tried to destroy each other. Cliffless chose River in the end and moved with her to a cave under the foot of Mount Unmeasurable. They lived happily for a few years and had a daughter called Pineapple. Pineapple fell in love with the prince of Dali when she traveled outside, however, the prince had already got married and his wife was from a race which sticked with “ one husband one wife ” principle. Pineapple was very sad and married herself to a man in South China, where the prince could not find her anymore.

After Pineapple left, one day, out of nowhere, Cliffless took a huge white jade home, he chased it very day until it turned into a girl with long sleeves and a sword in hand. Initially, the sculpture looked like River, but a closer look at would reveal the difference. Even thought River was beautiful, she was prone to gang violence, thus her face looked angry. But the jade sculpture was gentle as water, more like an angel. Cliffless stared at the sculpture every day, it seemed that he had lost himself in her eyes. His love for River had disappeared. River was in a rage, she went out and had sex with other guys. Then Cliffless discovered her slutty deeds and left the cave, without a single word.

River was very sad and angry, she went to Xixia, a new country in northwest China and remarried herself to the man who established the country. They had a son one year later and a granddaughter named dew twenty years later.

Back to Cloudy. Many many years ago, when she was practicing her Gongfu, which required a quiet environment, River attacked her on her back. As a result, she could never grow to normal size, she would look like a small girl forever. Cloudy’s heart was filled with hatred, she thought if it was not for her small figure, Cliffless would marry her instead of River. So when she recovered, she sneaked into the Xixia palace and destroyed River’s face with swords when she was asleep.

River caught up with her and cut one of her legs, but a monk named Bamboo interrupted and rescued her. To her surprise, Bamboo had met Cliffless once and became his apprentice, Cliffless also gave Monk Bamboo his ring, so Bamboo was the master of Carefree Clique now. They hid themselves in a large ice cave under the Xixia palace. Bamboo told her that he could give the ring to her because he didn’t want to betray Shaolin temple, he was happy to be a monk. Cloudy decided to force him to break rules.

So she secretly ran out in the middle of the night, brought River’s granddaughter Dew, who was apparently dizzy from overdose, to the ice cave. She striped her naked and threw her on Bamboo’s bed. Bamboo was in his twenties and he had never been so close to a girl, moreover, he thought he was in a dream, so he touched Dew’s lips, her body and ... in the end, they had sex. In the morning, when he woke up, he was astonished and asked Cloudy if it was real, Cloudy laughed and said “Do you want it to be real? ” Bamboo and Dew had sex for six days in a row, until the seventh day, Cloudy refused to bring Dew to the cave anymore, Bamboo was unsettled.

At the same time, River discovered them, Cloudy took Bamboo’s ring over and said: “My poor little sister, I am so sorry to tell you that our big Brother loved me more, he gave the master ring to me and he painted me. ” There in her hand was a painting. River was annoyed, she took the painting and opened it, then suddenly, her angry look disappeared, replaced by a look which was hard to describe, she gave off a big laugh and said: “not her, not her, hahaha. ” then she fell down on the floor and died. Cloudy was confused, she grabbed the painting back and looked at it, then she laughed even more loudly and said: “not her, hahaha, not her. ”

The painting belonged to Cliffless. He painted it while he was visiting River’s family many years ago. The girl in the picture was River’s sister, Ocean, so was the jade sculpture.

话说北宋哲宗年间，中国西南方有一个国家，名曰大理。大理多山脉，有一处山峰，名缥缈峰。有一个叫逍遥子的道士有一天云游至此，他见此处云雾缭绕，如臻至仙境，遂于此定居，日夜苦思冥想，勘透道学精髓，创立了逍遥派。逍遥子收了三个徒弟，大师姐巫行云，二师哥无崖子，小师妹李秋水。

巫行云和李秋水都喜欢无崖子，她们互相之间嫉妒并残害对方。无崖子最后选择了李秋水，和她住到了无量山下的一个山洞里，他们在山洞里过了几年快乐生活，生下一个女儿，叫李青萝。李青萝出山洞游玩时遇到了大理段王爷段正淳，并且怀了孕，而段正淳虽对其百般留恋，终没有勇气向发妻禀明。李青萝一气之下嫁到了江南姑苏王家，在王家生下了段正淳的女儿王语嫣。

李青萝出嫁后，无崖子不知从哪里搬出来一块硕大的白玉，每天雕雕刻刻后逐渐成型，原来是个手持长剑，水袖纷飞的女子，初时，这女子还像李秋水，哪知后来越来越不像，李秋水戾气太重，难免怒形于色，面相凶恶，这玉像却温柔似水，颇具仙姿，无崖子每日对着这玉像凝望，竟似痴魔，对李秋水爱意渐销。李秋水怒火中烧，于是从外面找来各种男子，与其调情，无崖子一怒之下远去，从此杳无音讯。

李秋水恨其抛妻，远赴西夏国，改嫁给了西夏国的开国君主李元昊，又生了一个儿子，这儿子又生了个女儿，叫李清露。

且说李秋水当年嫉恨师姐巫行云，乘其练功时攻其后心，导致其走火入魔，身材如孩童般大小。无崖子娶了李秋水后，巫行云更是恨之入骨，想着如若不是自己身材矮小，师哥娶得定然是自己。于是潜入西夏宫，用迷药将李秋水迷倒，用刀刮花了她的脸，二人结下了深仇大恨。

李秋水对巫行云穷追不舍，砍断了她一条腿，巫行云得一名叫虚竹的小和尚相救，躲到了西夏皇宫的一座大冰窖里。原来这小和尚虚竹曾得机缘碰到无崖子，受了其一身功力，并被任命为逍遥派掌门人，小和尚却无心背叛少林寺，仍要做和尚。巫行云于是引诱小和尚破戒。

她半夜偷偷跑出去，偷抱了睡梦中的李清露，解了她衣服把她放入虚竹的帐中，小和尚一生未近女色，又正当壮年，如何能扛？于是与李清露成了露水夫妻。

然而李秋水还是发现了他们的踪影，巫行云拿过小和尚的掌门戒指，大笑说：“师妹，师哥把掌门人给了我，他还是爱我多一些，哈哈哈，师哥还画了我的画像，就在这里。” 李秋水大怒：“拿过来”，一阵风刮过，画被抢走。李秋水打开一看，哈哈大笑：“不是她，不是她。”说着倒地而亡，巫行云满脸困惑，拿过一看，也大笑道：“不是她，不是她。”倒地而亡。

你道这画是谁？原来是李秋水的小妹子，那玉像也是李秋水的小妹子。