RE: Relationship Tips #6 How to Express Love with Requests, Not Demands
This post about demands and request is really a huge challenge to me. As much as I like to sound requesting and not demanding, i always fell in the latter. I always sound to be demanding. I guess my background has a lot to do with this.
I grew up under a disciplinarian. My father was very strick. He had a list of things we should do and we should avoid doing. It was a tip-toe life. Every action I made was monitored.
Now that I am a grown up, I really understand the demands of my father. Yes they were all demands.! And I think, if it were not because of that I am not who I am now.
As a teacher now, handling high school students about 13-16 years old, I really think that request is better than demands... But most of the students do not do what is required and requested...unless of course you demand it to them.
When it is a demand they better understand their responsiblities. But when it is a request, they feel not oblige to do. They will ignore the requests.
If i demand, i get good results.
If i request, i get ignored.
I love teaching. I love my students. I want to see them succeeding by doing the things they should do.
Hi @christianyocte, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'd like to ask a question,
High school students are tricky and smart. I'm not the right person to give you advice because I don't have rich experiences with high school students, just a few months, haha. If you're the student himself, how do you want the teacher to say when asking/telling you to do something?
Im very close to my students. Actually i am sitting beside my student in a jeepney. She told me that there is a tendency that the request will not be fulfilled.
But, yes request is better. There is volunteerism and willingness to do something for other person.
I cannot agree more that kids will obey under commands than requests. However this depends on their upbringing as well.
In my opinion, requests signifies you're both on equal standards. Demands signifies you're of higher authority.
If you stand as a teacher, demand is the effective way. If you stand as a friend, request could work. This need to be tested.
Thats very true. I understand better now.
Im very close to my students. Actually i am sitting beside my student in a jeepney. She told me that there is a tendency that the request will not be fulfilled.
But, yes request is better. There is volunteerism and willingness to do something for other person.