Request & Requirement. How to ruin a relationship in one conversation.
The request implies a rejection, and the requirement — doesn't imply.
If I am ready for the response "no", if I am ready quietly, without aggression to accept a rejection, it is a request. If I am not ready to hear "no", this is requirement.
Not important, how externally politely one person addresses another.
The external form generally isn't so important as contents, as an emotional message. I can pronounce a set of polite words, do everything on etiquette, but at the same time react to a rejection with aggression, with offense. The offense is one of the most dangerous forms of aggression, I hope, nobody will argue with it. If the person pretends that he asks from you something, and reacts to your rejection with aggression, he doesn't ask, he requires.
It is remarkable that practically all of us can experience the preparing offense in response to our preparing "no". At the time of the address of the person to us it is possible to experience, he is ready to accept a rejection or not. He will take offense or not. Will become angry or not. In other words, intonations, emotional filling, implication, by a subconscious message we can recognize the requirement disguised under a request.
I think you're right. Very often a demand disguised as a request.It seems to be possible to answer no, but there is a huge psychological pressure who asks. Request as it requires me to something. But it's actually nothing more than disguised sweet smile is a strict requirement.