What is so negative about "positive thinking" and why you may want to adopt a more wholistic approach to life - Part I
Excerpt: In the next two articles I am addressing one of the most prominent notions of the new-age doctrine - to think positive. I am describing the two main reasons why such attitude is actually not positive at all. It causes us to ignore the "dark" yet important aspects of our whole self; it causes us to judge ourselves and remain victims. I am suggesting a more holistic approach to life, one that although not pleasant at first pulls us out of the duality, mass-consciousness, towards enlightenment.
Credit: Waite
Describing the "positive thinking" approach
Many of us are familiar with the concept ‘positive thinking’ and how we are recommended to implement it in order to achieve good and happy lives for ourselves (google it and see for yourself). Those who are single, for instance, are encouraged to ‘think positively’, to be optimistic; when they attend weddings they are presented to the happy couples so they can witness a positive example and then develop within themselves hope for their own situation. However, what is the truth behind the mantra:” ‘think positive’? Is such pattern of thought really necessary in order to be creators, to enlightenment?
"Positive thinking" is founded on the assumption that the mind can create. "I will think I am rich and healthy and therefore I will be rich and healthy". While this approach may work for a little while and bring some mild results (you will win 100$ on the lottery), for the long run it will fail simply because the mind has no creator powers whatsoever.You think I am mistaken? Try your way, we will meet in 10 years and see who is right.
It's a myth.
The idea of “only positive thoughts are allowed" might actually be harmful because it implants you in the same place for years and years. In order to clarify my point I will use a common situation that may happen at every home:
Danielle, the teenage daughter of Joyce burst into the house through the main doorway and ran quickly to her room, slamming the door behind her. Joyce, who had been too alarmed to leave her young child on her own, hurried after her only to see her daughter’s face buried deep in the thick blanket that already was full of wet tears.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”, Joyce was worried. Her hand caressed Danielle’s head hoping her daughter was up to share with her the details.
“It’s Simon….he…he… he broke up with me”, Danielle just barely managed to screen out the words out of her crying mouth.
"Oh, my beautiful…I am so sorry….he is stupid to let you go…you are so sweet, beautiful and talented and you will easily find a new boyfriend”. Joyce was trying to encourage her suffering daughter. “And most important”, she added remembering a good advice she had heard lately, ”it is crucial that you do not fall into depression. Think positive and only optimistic thoughts and you will see that everything will quickly be even better than before”.
But is that really so? Is Joyce correct? Are experts’ suggestions, who repeatedly advise us to think positively – “because thoughts create your reality” – really justified and genuinely bring a true improvement in our daily lives?
The worldview which says that positive thinking alone can solve all our “problems” is archaic and no longer relevant for those who choose to walk towards enlightenment. Such thinking was good when you began to awaken, to be more aware. A worldview that says “think only positive” and “avoid any negative thoughts” presents a dualistic perspective about life. If we live in a dual reality, one that is comprised of contradictions and separations, we doom ourselves to a life that will always swing between “good” and “bad”.
There are two main reasons why ‘positive thinking’ can be actually harmful:
Adopting positive pattern of thought only, inherently causes us to ignore other parts of our reality. If Danielle, the daughter in our example, accepts her mother’s advice she will then avoid addressing the root cause within her that initially have created the situation she is facing now. Any human must go through the process of carving and forming their personality and that includes working with the entire spectrum of their character, including the hidden so-called dark aspects. When Danielle’s mother encourages her to ‘think only positively’ she also pushes her to ignore the inner self-observation that is so vital for Danielle’s growth. Indeed, through the wallowing in the “negative thinking”, in the self-pity, in the pain of breaking up and in her feeling of despair, Danielle may reveal deep truths about life, about herself, her aspects and by that become more mature. Only by digging into the negative aspects of the personality Danielle can win the awareness that will propel her forward in due time towards new adventures in life. Had she focused only in ‘positive thinking’ she would have caused the repression of the “negative” and “bad” thoughts that demand to be known and addressed; else they would be buried inside and in time would surely explode, if not during her next relationship then in the one after it. Life cannot be ignored or put aside, and the “darkness” or the “negativity” is definitely a part of our reality.
The second potential harm that “positive thinking” bears is the rooting of a judgmental attitude towards life, one that believes in conflicts, suffer and anguish. If we divide our thoughts and actions to positive and negative, and consequently we divide the whole world to positive and negative, then we as well, being part of this world, are judged as positive or negative (by ourselves). Therefore, on some days we are experiencing the goodness, that means we live in the light, do a good job in our relationships, send love to our dears and fight for noble (and good) values like peace, brotherhood, and freedom. On other days we give up to the dark, to the “negative energies” and to depression. As long as we are strong enough, determent and exercise self-discipline we place ourselves on the side of the “light warriors” and that makes us feel good. However, if we fall to the other side, to the evil, we begin to feel sorry for ourselves and to scold ourselves for our bad behaviors and satanic thoughts. We then beat our allegedly dark souls and find comfort in affirmations like: “this is a cruel world” or “after all we are just human beings”. Such attitude makes as being victims and takes away our power as sovereign beings. We endlessly see the world through a black and white prism. That in itself disallows us to see the bigger picture of the reality that is needed to be enlightened.
Don't get me wrong - from the duality perspective it's far better to have a positive attitude towards life than a negative one, and if you are insisting on thinking all the time you better think happy thoughts.
I am suggesting a more holistic attitude, which I will explain in the next post.
In the next article (will be published tomorrow) –The benefits of adopting a more holistic approach to life, one that is beyond "good vs bad"; "light vs. dark".
Well said @nomad-magus...
I some how agree with you but on other hand I going to disagree with you.
When I agree with you so it is quite clear to you that what is my point of view ... but on another hand while i am disagree and why?
Dear friend, life is so previous and we have to make it more valuable by our daily routine which involves all our activities whether it is relationship, office work, our journey, our spare time etc. We have to enjoy all the time happily and effectively.
If we have any problem in anyone of that mentioned above we have to compromise on it as you mentioned the story of Daniel, if she wants to have a boy friend, who tell her that this one is suitable for her why she not think before act, if we decide wisely it will never happened with us.
Dear I tell this because in my society we have to decide who is best for whom. As a elder member of a family, they have to check the character of the couple and the family background of both the family. Wether they can live with each other or not. If the elder feel that something is wrong they refuse to marry these couple.
The reason behind this boundation is that the teenagers are not well mature that they can decide his / her life partner. So we have very little experience of divorce. Because they are well judged by both the families.
Now the question of love has question mark... so we don't like love marriages because in our society maximum amount of love marriages are converted into divorce, so we don't like to have love marriage.
Other question that how the couple live togather if they have no love before marrying?
I going to tell you in this answer that maximum couple see each other on the very first day of their marriage for the first time... but when they meet together they fall in love and this love is endless for their life....
So I think positivity is more important than negativity. If you have some time we will more discuss this topic privately. I have allot of arguments to convene you to positivity.
Thanks for your time to read this reply....
Forgive me for any spelling or sentence mistakes.
Thanks for the comment.
You were addressing two issues. I want to comment about the arranged marriages that you have in your culture, much like the religious Jews have in mine.
There is nothing wrong in such marriages. The purpose is to raise a family, have children, support each other. And for those purposes, such marriages are perhaps the most efficient way.
But, the world is changing and people as well.
We are now living in the age of "individualism", where people are evolving to become more than the limited human, to gather all their aspects, the positive and the negative, to feel again what love is, to know their powers and sovereign beings.
true, such a journey of self exploration can be done while the person is in a relationship. But it's much more difficult.
The fact that there are no divorces in arranged marriages is not necessarily a good sign for one's own development. People change and it's almost impossible to live with someone who still remains stuck in their old identities. Better to separate and move on to the next level of the evolution.
Again, I do understand where you are coming from and the function of the elders in your culture is respected, valuable and cherished.
🙏
Thanks for this brief comments. Dear you are right that there is individualism in these days, but we have still trust on our elder and we think that our elder will decide which is best for us.
And yes the people want a sovereign life but in our societies I again say that people avoid to go for love marriage because of its bad results.
And the sign of no divorce indicates that a couple is happy with each other and they never want to be separate otherwise they have option to do so.
So in my opinion No divorce means the couple is in happiness, love, affection, satisfaction and not thinking for anyone else except his/her spouse.
And really I appreciate my community for respectful behaviour with the elders of their families. They are really obeyed in true spirit, because we all know that they have allot of experience about how to live in the society and how to deal with others. So we got benefited from their experiences and take the results of their life and act upon that which they taught us.
I am not familiar with your society, so I can't analyse how you live and what is good or bad in your society.
Thanks for your valuable time.
I agree, while it's good to keep your spirits up, you should never ignore what doen't fit into that positive pattern. There can be no light without darkness, no good without evil, that's how balance works. "Bad" things should not be ignored, but addressed and dealt with.
Plenty of, dare I say it, positive comments. Where have all the "think-positive" adherents scuttled off to? Perhaps they are detoxing from the negativity.
Anyway, well said. One deep problem about any doctrine that says "think only X" is that it hides the full spectrum of experiences. Once one limits one's experiences, then one is easy to indoctrinate - then the way out becomes harder.
I often use the analogy that the next mountain peak can only be reached by first going down into the valley.
As to your query, mate - It takes time.
It takes time.
But we are patient, are we not?
Yes, patience - unless it becomes... lethargy!
However, gaining experiences, the "fruits" of a different philosophy, can lead to confidence in the path.
I think that the "think only positive" attitude is/was popular because usually, people find it hard to think positive.
In my opinion, they are more likely to sink into negative thoughts than in positive ones.
but I agree with you that one shouldn't avoid the negative thoughts.
negative thoughts like self-criticism can teach you very useful lessons in life.
to me combining negative and positive thinking is like when you fall you should remember what was the cause to your falling to avoid falling the next time (negative thinking) and getting up quickly, ignoring the pain as fast as you can help you to feel better faster (positive thinking).
True.👍
I am going to suggest, in part II, another way - The Non Thinking approach.
Balance is perhaps what matters most. That we acknowledge all aspects of our feelings — good, bad, sad, glad, angry, euphoric.
Somewhere along the way, it seems that Humans lost their way. There are sayings such as "Misery loves company" and so forth, but where are the positive versions of these? Perhaps the positivity movement merely started as a counterpoint to the tendency to see "the little black cloud" in an otherwise cloudless sky?
As you suggest, excess focus on the positive does us no favors. But perhaps a broader truth is that any lack of balance — that is, taking any extreme excessively to heart — isn't particularly good for one's mental health and general feeling of well-being in life.
Judgment can be a slippery slope. I believe Humanity is already experiencing that, in ways we don't think about. "Negative" or "sad" feelings are increasingly scorned upon — and increasingly classified as "conditions" for which treatment is needed. It is an unfortunate process of "medicalizing" emotions that previously were considered simply a normal part of the spectrum of human experience. Once upon a time, someone might have been described as having a "melancholic temperament;" and they would go off and write maudlin poetry for six months. Now, they are told they are "mentally ill" and forced to take various pharmaceuticals, as a result of which their creativity is lost in a cloud of altered chemistry.
And that's a great shame. But what do I know? I'm just a little black cat!
=^..^=
... Indeed.
And same with children at schools who are analyzed and diagnosed and medicated, so they would conform to a "positive" pupil behavior.
Thinking positive a very strong tool for some people i.e. to get heal from hard deseases.
Zohar Glass, is a good example for this she recovered from cancer using this way ( although not only...) against all odds.
Yet, I do understand your point, sometimes this attitude prevents us to see reality and can put us in passive situation of not willing to understand things deeply and not having the desire to be procative and fight to change our life if we think something wrong with them.
Thank you for the comment.
This young woman changed many things in her life. She quit her job, alerted her diet, and also did some meditation. The positive thinking, as I understand, was not the main method.
Also, in my article I say that it's better to think positive than negative, if one chooses to think. I also say that repressing negative thoughts because we fear of their influence on our lives is very harmful.
However, I am suggesting that positive thinking brings short term results only. The ultimate change that we, humans, are going through is to leave the mind and the thinking process all together.
I will post in the near future a post about the consciousness behind cancer.
Thanks, mate 👍
I agree with you that positive thinking won't get us anywhere just by thinking, but why don't u add that we need to ACT, thinking about anything won't get us anywhere, you could have all the information, knowledge and positivity in the world, but if you don't do what you want to do and get better at it day by day by day you won't get anywhere. So this post isn't about positive or negative. You just ignored the second part of thinking in general - acting.
Judgemental attitude can't be connected with positive thinking - Feeling sorry for ourselves isn't positive thinking, and I don't know why you even talk about it. It's negative, because if you are down then you need to extract the lesson of why are you on the ground and get up stronger than you were - that's positive.
Disclaimer: this is not a personal debate, nor an attack on you, I do not know who are you, I just stumbled upon your post and I would like to discuss further, maybe you change my perspective on life, who knows...
This post is not about the way to create your reality.
Indeed, in order to create, one may need to act. Thinking or feeling is not enough.
In the future I will describe efficient ways and methods to create. Suffice to say, for now, that creation is effortless and ultimately it requires no action, no thought, just a choice.
But we will get there. In time.
Thanks for your comment, mate. Welcome to stick around👍
Thank you for explaining, yes I might've understood your post wrong, as I am Croatian and English is my second language. Followed cause you're an interesting person, see you around. :)
That way of thinking is not right. If people do not allow themselves to think about problems or sadness or other forms of emotion other than happiness then such attitudes will not help at all.
In difficult times in our lives, all we need to do is let ourselves grieve and feel the various emotions, because it is a natural part of the healing process.
"In difficult times in our lives, all we need to do is let ourselves grieve and feel the various emotions, because it is a natural part of the healing process."
Indeed.
And then to release them. No to dwell in them for too long.
i tried adopting a positive thinking approach and even left positive quotes around my home to help but in the end i choose to ignore too many other aspects that have negative effects but found my life was getting very dull and uninteresting. my glass is always half full but that is all only half you have to leave room for emptiness other wise you havnt enjoyed lifes contents.
Adopting a positive thought pattern, inherently causes us to ignore the other parts of our reality. Frankly, I am astonished by this phrase. This is a dialectic that I did not realize before. I used to write about; "throw negative thoughts into place". It's as if the negative thoughts are just plagues of the mind, and must be discarded. yes, it turns out I ignore reality. A holistic approach (this is a keyword). Really, today's intellectual wisdom. Great.
You may also want to read my article tomorrow. I will explain more about the good-bad balance.
Thanks for your feedback!
Instead we should thank you, for having devoted knowledge to us.
I wait for your post my brother.