Fuck Camping

I'm a damn grown-up. I hate camping. Why do I willingly spend extended periods of time sleeping on the ground, being dirty AF? Damnit camping sucks. Glamping, maybe. Cabin camping with running water, totally fine.
I was out at a family campground with hella families surrounding us and Bollywood groups surrounding us and parties going on until 3AM and somehow I'm supposed to sleep through it? Then you finally sleep, and you wake up, and there is a fucking gang of wild turkeys brushing against your tent, dragging their giant ass feathers along the ground in crazy intimidation tactics??!! Why do it to myself!

Then you come across a bounding deer. You hike through green lakeside foliage and smell crisp-ass air. You see twenty varieties of wildflowers within an hr. You watch a lizard bake in the sun. There is always redemption in nature.